Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Crometer

Search for a member

Crometer

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 924
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Crometer : I'm sarcastic for sure, but I'm always down to talk. I'm a huge pit lover and I play Ultimate Frisbee

Crometer's page activity

Visits<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 3:18pm<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 2:06am<b>That_Wolf_Gurl</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 6:29pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 10:59pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 11:16am<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 12:26am<b>ameliaaa4</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 8:37pm<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 4:17pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 8:12am<b>elitekiller12</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 11:17pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 1:09am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 10:23pm<b>scooterdude720</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 1:15pm<b>kingpuppy18</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 10:21pm<b>tigerfish</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 8:24pm<b>Kerensky</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 4:36am<b>hghrider123456</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 2:36pm

Crometer's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Crometer's badges

Crometer's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that just because you live on a different continent, it doesn't mean your mother won't come knocking when you are having sex. FML

#20989004
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53012) - you deserved it (4601)

On 12/11/2013 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by hi Mum - United States (South Carolina)

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

#20965644
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55829) - you deserved it (12471)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States

Today, I realized I need to start hitting the gym, when my boyfriend actually utilized my love handles during sex. FML

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56201) - you deserved it (9174)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39170) - you deserved it (2908)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
517 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17848) - you deserved it (128216)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML

#20838843
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19434) - you deserved it (60249)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML

#20837089
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55156) - you deserved it (5025)

On 08/14/2013 at 1:39pm - misc - by NewBride (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54186) - you deserved it (6161)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
111 comments

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

#20835170
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47903) - you deserved it (3788) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2013 at 4:49am - kids - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out why my doctor told me not to mix pain killers with alcohol when I was told that last night I tried to convince a group of teenage tourists that I was one of the nitwits from One Direction, and then got miffed when they laughed at me. FML

#20832639
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17239) - you deserved it (35199)

On 08/11/2013 at 7:23pm - health - by JustSayNo - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49044) - you deserved it (5452)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a customer scream at me for ruining their child's birthday party. They had bought a Piñata from me and didn't know they had to fill it themselves. The kids had hit it open and it was empty. FML

#20809207
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48773) - you deserved it (3990)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:30am - work - by Fitz - United States

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

#20808725
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41486) - you deserved it (2759)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: