Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Covina, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6942
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Cristian89 : Just here for the laughs 😄

Cristian89's page activity

Visits<b>QueenJay81</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 5:40am<b>goldfish_lover</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 10:42pm<b>antonio_bob</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 2:05pm<b>TrippingOnAcid</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 12:54pm<b>Stxsyh</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 12:08am<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 8:46pm<b>emmarawr17</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 2:23pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 1:54pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 12:34pm<b>Blackout517</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 9:20pm<b>darklord369</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 2:58am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 1:55pm<b>californian21</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 10:51pm<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 10:03pm<b>nfern046</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 9:10pm<b>AkBunny907</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Twisted_Killjoy</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 10:32pm<b>missjess05</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 7:17pm

Fucked!<b>sarahyep</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 10:08am<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 7:25pm<b>KVYLV</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:15am<b>marthagayo</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:22am<b>nikkichanxoxo</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:19pm<b>nofreeusernames</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 5:41am<b>fooltemptress</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:22am<b>KurlyQ</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:56am<b>miliaras93</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:34am

Cristian89's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Cristian89's badges

Cristian89's favorite FMLs

Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52597) - you deserved it (3430)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by seriously though - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (55196) - you deserved it (9941)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41183) - you deserved it (5539)

On 02/18/2014 at 4:15pm - health - by dating a pussy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML


I agree, your life sucks (41401) - you deserved it (5438)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm - misc - by airhead2015 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, at work, a customer asked me to unlock the restroom for them. I honestly couldn't figure out which gender they were, but I didn't want to be rude and ask, so I took a chance. I unlocked the wrong one. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46779) - you deserved it (5556)

On 02/10/2014 at 3:48pm - work - by elizabethkalyn (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48433) - you deserved it (15712) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56554) - you deserved it (7327)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Tara115 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57403) - you deserved it (20326)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37576) - you deserved it (42909)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64222) - you deserved it (12556)

On 01/31/2014 at 10:29am - intimacy - by wtfjusthappened - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45719) - you deserved it (5558)

On 01/28/2014 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64801) - you deserved it (9113)

On 01/21/2014 at 8:16pm - health - by AnonWife - United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: