Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Cristian89

Online | Search for a member

Cristian89

1Liked!

Cristian89
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3178
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cristian89 : Just here for the laughs :D
Ask for my kik if you wanna chat

Cristian89's page activity

Visits<b>xxembabexx</b> - 2 hours ago<b>alllisonnn</b> - 7 hours ago<b>abattior</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Geeve95</b> - 16 hours ago<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - 23 hours ago<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - yesterday at 6:36pm<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - yesterday at 3:28pm<b>DiJsLifeStyle</b> - yesterday at 1:43pm<b>Journiexo</b> - yesterday at 1:18pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 6:39pm<b>narwhal95</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:03am<b>mval10</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:07pm<b>poppunkette</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 7:15pm<b>jsjelly07</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:46pm<b>tuttipains</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:02pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 8:03pm<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 7:49pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:57pm

Liked!<b>miliaras93</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:34am

Cristian89's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Cristian89's badges

Cristian89's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking to work, I found out what it feels like to be hit in the face by a rolled up newspaper thrown from the window of a moving car by a paper boy doing his rounds. It hit hard enough to give me a black eye. FML

#21246995
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35271) - you deserved it (2710)

On 08/28/2014 at 6:31am - work - by newswithabitofbite (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39945) - you deserved it (7260)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42090) - you deserved it (6118)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes to do things the old-fashioned way, and that he wouldn't propose to me without my father's blessing. My dad died 3 years ago, and he knows it. FML

#21232717
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46642) - you deserved it (3173)

On 08/08/2014 at 6:53pm - love - by lonethong15 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

#21184110
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45482) - you deserved it (3524)

On 06/22/2014 at 11:10am - misc - by paywithpoop - United States

Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML

#21182108
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41860) - you deserved it (4250)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:00pm - health - by blackchin III (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52388) - you deserved it (4607)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I entered my late twenties. My hair's falling out and I'm putting on weight at light speed. At least I can keep my youthful appearance with the acne I still suffer from. FML

#21163683
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40982) - you deserved it (4592)

On 06/05/2014 at 7:12am - misc - by hifhfan (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I finally finished a drawing that someone had asked and said they would pay me for. I worked on it for multiple hours and was very proud of it. When it came to discussing payment, I asked what his best offer was. A pack of cigarettes. FML

#21161435
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39353) - you deserved it (7959)

On 06/03/2014 at 7:56am - money - by xerrika - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it and instead sent a picture of his dog "looking blazed". FML

#21161395
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41726) - you deserved it (15597)

On 06/03/2014 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I got called "un-American" when I said I didn't care about Kim and Kayne's wedding. FML

#21154136
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61691) - you deserved it (5427)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Yeppets - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47440) - you deserved it (7218)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, was my first day of work in my life. I was excited, and so was my dad, who saw me to the door and ruffled my hair as he wished me luck. I didn't notice until half an hour after arriving at work that he'd stuck his gum in my hair. Nobody bothered to tell me. FML

#21136840
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43672) - you deserved it (3810)

On 05/11/2014 at 4:30pm - work - by sheisselluv (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I love him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML

#21136683
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40734) - you deserved it (4892)

On 05/11/2014 at 1:57pm - love - by not gay in AL (man) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: