Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Crazynopantsman

Online | Search for a member

Crazynopantsman

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1384
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Crazynopantsman : Aye, name's Eli. I'm that guy your parents warned you about.

Crazynopantsman's page activity

Visits<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 12:41am<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 6:54pm<b>C7</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 11:45pm<b>lulumars</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 1:48pm<b>Marie54321</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:16pm<b>jpsullivan</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 3:00am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 10:10am<b>Aaliyahxo14</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 8:04am<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 12:31pm<b>AbdiM44</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 2:51pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 2:23am<b>ksadhera</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 3:59am<b>Black_Ink</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:05pm<b>metalhead4740</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:24am<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:09pm<b>poolguy69</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 3:38am<b>corwindagreat</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 7:02pm<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 6:31pm

Liked!<b>Emi1y</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 7:23am

Crazynopantsman's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Crazynopantsman's badges

Crazynopantsman's favorite FMLs

Today, I arrived at my apartment to find the door kicked in. Inside, I found my TV, Xbox, stereo, CDs, and laptop had all been stolen. When my roommate got home, I told him about it, to which he replied, "Yeah, I left my keys inside this morning, so I kicked the door in to get them." He left with the door kicked in. FML

#7405101
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31694) - you deserved it (2192)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was at a Remembrance Day service when an old widow told me I had my "grandad's" medals on the wrong side of my coat. I told her that I was an Afghanistan veteran and that they were mine. She then berated me in front of the WHOLE service for "lying". FML

#6251729
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40450) - you deserved it (2467)

On 11/10/2009 at 11:36pm - misc - by Danners88 (man) - Australia

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33836) - you deserved it (8860)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76031) - you deserved it (6568)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the girl I tutored in high school in basic ENGLISH just received her PhD in Biophysics. I am now the manager of a McDonald's. I was also the Valedictorian of our graduating class. FML

#4253042
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39684) - you deserved it (35910)

On 08/03/2009 at 11:08am - work - by MickeyDManager (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83339) - you deserved it (14220)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number I said 'Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number'. So many girls have given me that number, I memorized it. FML

#2523037
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52569) - you deserved it (6036)

On 06/02/2009 at 1:41am - love - by toobad (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML

#1289647
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42784) - you deserved it (35420)

On 04/24/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by vinniesuckmadack (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML

#598491
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74561) - you deserved it (5667)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

#360907
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72999) - you deserved it (16948)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by hala (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

#221601
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46606) - you deserved it (25537)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (262783) - you deserved it (62200)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: