About Crazynopantsman : Aye, name's Eli. I'm that guy your parents warned you about.
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Today, I found out that the girl I tutored in high school in basic ENGLISH just received her PhD in Biophysics. I am now the manager of a McDonald's. I was also the Valedictorian of our graduating class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33873) - you deserved it (31957)
On 08/03/2009 at 11:08am - work - by MickeyDManager (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number I said 'Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number'. So many girls have given me that number, I memorized it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45546) - you deserved it (4612)
On 06/02/2009 at 1:41am - love - by toobad (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24591) - you deserved it (48785)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36152) - you deserved it (27510)
On 04/24/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by vinniesuckmadack (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64664) - you deserved it (4216)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (63857) - you deserved it (12805)
On 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by hala (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While Im brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40310) - you deserved it (20758)
On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (205515) - you deserved it (44846)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Monday 20 May 2013
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