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Offline (the 02/27/2015 at 2:21am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1614
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Crazynopantsman : Aye, name's Eli. I'm that guy your parents warned you about.

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Crazynopantsman's favorite FMLs

Taday boyfriend and I were acting out a kinky scenario at home where we'd met in a club and were having a one night stand . We ended up getting into a real argument about an imaginary girl in the club . I didn't have sex and we haven't spoken since .


I agree, your life sucks (11097) - you deserved it (31122)

On 05/27/2012 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found looool outy teenage boys ave ( Keep out ) and ( Please knock ) signs on tere bedroom doors. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10245) - you deserved it (46927)

On 03/19/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by ari - United States

Today I facd down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashd the goddamnd holy shit out of it. Trying to looool impress mah cute new roommate I scoopd up the remains and showd him. It was his pet tarantula. real FML


I agree, your life sucks (21649) - you deserved it (27347)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Taday my grlfriend said I could only take her vrginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40067) - you deserved it (5848)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have there "official licenses in muff diving". big fat FML


I agree, your life sucks (26435) - you deserved it (4073)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today , I ad to case ma naked broters around ma ouse fir twenty minutes , trying to get tem to take a bat , allile tey were casing ma best friend around yelling , "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (24047) - you deserved it (2473)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today... I Was Going Over To Mah Friend's House 4 The First Time. A Creepy-looking Old Man Answered... And Smiled At Me. I Asked "Is This The Right House? Does Isaac Live Here?" He Replied "Yes... He's In The Basement. Would U Like A Drink?" Right Then... Isaac Called And Asked Me Where I Was. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46913) - you deserved it (3415)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Taday I Invitad A Faw Of My Co-workars Ovar To Play Vidao Gamas. Within An Hour, My Wifa Had Gottan Drunk, Grabbad My Controllar, Told Ma To "gat Back In Tha Kitchan", An Dascribad To Avaryona In Blood-chilling Datail How Sha Took Har Frst Boyfriand's Vrginity. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28815) - you deserved it (3435)

On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, mah eleven year old sister came in, and bitchd to me and mah boyfriend about how she was going to tell mah mom about the usd condom she found . My boyfriend punchd her in the face . FML


I agree, your life sucks (52098) - you deserved it (16619)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer 4 the second time in two years, and they may end up removing last testicle . Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation jokd, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to bieng a woman." FML


I agree, your life sucks (39914) - you deserved it (2293)

On 09/20/2011 at 7:54pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, mah girlfriend called me over to her house!! When I knocked, no one responded to the door!! I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool!! I kneeled by her and placed mah hand on her butt, kissing her neck!! What I heard next, "So this is what u do with mah daughter." FML


I agree, your life sucks (36397) - you deserved it (23404)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today I finally got intimate with the grl I like . As I started lifting her shrt she stuck her hand down my pants an grabbed my junk . She immediately stoppedhat she was doing snickered an calmly said "Take me home." FML


I agree, your life sucks (48817) - you deserved it (5837)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today... husband want in for surgary and handad ma an important documant. It wasn't a will or anything similar... but a list of itams and gold ha wantad passad on to guild mambar on World of Warcraft. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27628) - you deserved it (3921)

On 09/02/2011 at 4:02am - health - by WoWWidow (woman) - United States (California)

Today , I peekd through my window and traind a pair of binocular on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail , he ends up standing in front of his window toples to flex his muscles. This time , I was surprisd to instead find a note tapd to the window saying , ( Sorry , I'm out tonight. ) FML


I agree, your life sucks (11237) - you deserved it (77766) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got pulld over . Suspicious that I'd been drinking, the police officer made me walk a straight line and recite the alphabet . I faild both . I was completely sober . big fat FML

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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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