About Crazynopantsman : Aye, name's Eli. I'm that guy your parents warned you about.
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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Crazynopantsman's favorite FMLs
by lonesomegal / 01/30/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by BadLuckLad / 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom (Portsmouth) / Intimacy
by Australian Lifeguard / 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2014 at 11:05am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Miscellaneous
Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML
by Sir_ND_Pity / 03/11/2013 at 3:57pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML
by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love
by GMD / 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Health
by lonely. / 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML
by Anonymous / 07/09/2012 at 6:37am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous
by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML
by aranya / 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, while having sex, I tried to kick the blanket over my feet and kneed myself in the face. FML Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he… Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her…