This member hasn't filled in their description.
CrazayPanda's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
CrazayPanda's favorite FMLs
by seamonkeys / 03/21/2013 at 5:42am / United States / Kids
Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML
by jealouspussy / 02/20/2013 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was upset because my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me for my birthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, and we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realized she forgot to call me yesterday as well. FML
by birthday_loser / 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML
by Alone / 12/28/2012 at 12:24am / United States / Love
Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Kids
Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML
by tempted to become single / 10/21/2012 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was training a new girl at work. We're always told to find "common interests" with the people we are training to make it less awkward for them. Little did I know that our "common interest" would turn out to be my boyfriend. FML
by damnit. / 08/26/2012 at 11:13pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by Just_Me_88 / 08/18/2012 at 1:09am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML
by mary / 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by tagteam / 07/05/2012 at 12:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML
by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 3:02am / United States / Kids
by picklet / 05/12/2012 at 10:36am / Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan) / Work
by Jeff make / 04/01/2012 at 10:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by goldfish / 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals