Cr4zyd4wg

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Cr4zyd4wg

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1395
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Cr4zyd4wg's page activity

Visits<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 12:55am<b>zach205</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 4:03pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:09pm<b>FaecesOnAStick</b> - the 06/20/2011 at 2:09am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 6:08am

Cr4zyd4wg's FML badges

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Cr4zyd4wg's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML

by lilmamma / 11/05/2010 at 1:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2010 at 7:56pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Kids

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

by mr_p / 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my first university math midterm back. I did so bad that my teacher put a sadface on the first page. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2010 at 2:04pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2010 at 3:37am / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2010 at 6:22pm / United States (Illinois) / Geek

Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML

by login_eddy / 09/17/2010 at 2:37pm / Work

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

by fmlpanda / 05/29/2010 at 12:14am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML

by Lovejunkie / 03/01/2010 at 2:30am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

by anonymous / 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

by soonaked / 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML

by ljjprchf / 12/12/2009 at 8:29pm / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail which splattered it into my face. FML

by shando / 11/07/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed my laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML

by LovesHisHand / 09/20/2009 at 4:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face" while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous