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CptC

Offline (the 11/30/2014 at 6:20am) | Search for a member

CptC

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3277
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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CptC's page activity

Visits<b>boymlt</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 4:28pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 2:25pm

CptC's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of CptC's badges

CptC's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

#20694473
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53539) - you deserved it (9005)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

#20694089
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45490) - you deserved it (9090)

On 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm - misc - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, after calling the insurance plan for my new iPhone a "huge waste of money", I promptly dropped it in the store while trying to put it into my pocket, cracking the screen. FML

#20693016
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22718) - you deserved it (47810)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:24pm - money - by sammarli530 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63375) - you deserved it (14431)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

#20690661
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55963) - you deserved it (32929)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

#20690610
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56800) - you deserved it (7308)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:05am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML

#20689621
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45996) - you deserved it (4033)

On 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm - work - by fuck you retail (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after months of tests for mystery nerve pain, I went to get more blood taken only to leave the clinic with an empty tin to collect my bowel movements for the next 72 hours. Which needs to be refrigerated. I live with 4 other people, with one fridge. FML

#20688590
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44567) - you deserved it (2927)

On 05/27/2013 at 1:05am - health - by you're shitting me - Australia

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43623) - you deserved it (7440)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML

#20686906
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53115) - you deserved it (2843)

On 05/26/2013 at 5:19am - misc - by gooddeedgonebad (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

#20684142
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67327) - you deserved it (5642)

On 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

#20683275
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34887) - you deserved it (3277)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by redneckfamily - United States (Washington)

Today, my aunt drove to my house and screamed at me for skateboarding in her driveway and denting her car. She then ransacked my room for said skateboard so she could break it in half. My aunt lives 4 hours away. I don't own a skateboard. FML

#20682410
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47897) - you deserved it (2471)

On 05/23/2013 at 7:25pm - misc - by Dalistair (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the communications expert I'm forced to work with added the line "as they can catch bigger fishes" to a film script. She does not believe me when I tell her that the plural of fish is "fish." This idiot not only has the final word, she makes twice what I do. FML

#20682053
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34933) - you deserved it (3889)

On 05/23/2013 at 4:15pm - work - by onefishtwofishes (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML

#20679725
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55235) - you deserved it (4649)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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