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CptC

Offline (the 03/27/2015 at 11:11pm) | Search for a member

CptC

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6278
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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CptC's page activity

Visits<b>boymlt</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 4:28pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 2:25pm

CptC's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of CptC's badges

CptC's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

#20749220
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25660) - you deserved it (32353)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by blahblah (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

#20744996
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31402) - you deserved it (5843)

On 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by thanksdoc (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

#20743881
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38703) - you deserved it (8937)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:20am - work - by myfavoritesgouda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83167) - you deserved it (7598)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60237) - you deserved it (3938)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML

#20742451
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60827) - you deserved it (8973)

On 06/23/2013 at 10:42am - love - by foreveralone (man) - United States

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

#20742274
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61368) - you deserved it (24025)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I helped an elderly lady put a bookshelf in her car. She then thanked me by hitting me with her car as she drove out of the parking lot. FML

#20736007
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39415) - you deserved it (2872)

On 06/19/2013 at 9:09pm - work - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44019) - you deserved it (20876)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

#20733111
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47661) - you deserved it (19449)

On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62460) - you deserved it (38777)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50430) - you deserved it (3095)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69395) - you deserved it (3983)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

#20728225
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48006) - you deserved it (3823) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML

#20727332
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37557) - you deserved it (2691)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:13pm - misc - by fuckedbyahipster (man) - Finland



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