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CptC

Offline (the 03/27/2015 at 11:11pm) | Search for a member

CptC

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 5204
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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CptC's page activity

Visits<b>boymlt</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 4:28pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 2:25pm

CptC's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of CptC's badges

CptC's favorite FMLs

Today, I dressed up as Batman fir a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker fir the same convention. FML

#20587443
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60828) - you deserved it (20285)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, an looking 4 an apology, I asked, "What do u say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" real FML

#20587303
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44703) - you deserved it (19006) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today , mah mom broke the news that mah dad secretly got marrid two months ago , to a woman he has been dating for 15 yeres , an that mah parents have actually been divorcd for 12 yeres!! They just lid about it this whole time!! FML

#20585943
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62081) - you deserved it (5437)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

TODAY, MAH GRLFRIEND AND I WERE HAVING SEX; I KNOW THAT SOME WOMEN R GREAT MULTITASKERS, BUT I'M GUESSING IT WAS A BAD SIGNHEN SHE STARTED TO GO OVER THE SHOPPING LIST. FML

#20585940
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46795) - you deserved it (13661)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:05am - intimacy - by Fml (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, mah boyfriand of 2 waaks said that ha was going to cook ma dinnar. Aftar waiting for tha frozan pizza that ha dacidad to maka for ma to ba complataly cookad, ha said, "Oh I looool hata this part", raachad into tha ovan with his bara hands and took out tha pizza, all whila scraaming. Ha is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50697) - you deserved it (10880)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, ma boyfriend fell asleep wile watcing TV . I tougt it would be cute to try to kiss im awake lyk tey do in te movies . He fartd . FML

#20584796
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38426) - you deserved it (18154)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States

Today, I played Call of Duty wit ma new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged tat a grl beat im. It resulted in im souting at me, claiming tat since I'm Muslim, I must be part of te Taliban,ic would explain ma gaming skills. FML

#20584680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44689) - you deserved it (8403)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, as I walkd out of the looool local store, I noticd a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudgd her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needd it more than me. After looking at it, she yelld, "PEDOPHILE!", punchd me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML

#20584129
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44573) - you deserved it (11474)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm - kids - by Me - United States (California)

Today, I cummed home from work to find mah son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of mah pars of pants. So far, five. FML

#20583359
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40354) - you deserved it (19374)

On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Taday I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé . He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's bered with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on mah arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, an I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on mah forearm. FML

#20579781
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15511) - you deserved it (59858)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today... I was at Universityhen a giant mascot started walking in mah direction. As they walked past... theyhispered mah name seductively. I still don't knowho it was. FML

#20578916
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36255) - you deserved it (4904)

On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I Was Discussing Possible Career Choices With Mah Relatives. Pretty Much Everyone Expressed The Belief That I'm Screwed For Life, With Mah Grandma Commenting Later: ( She Ain't Even Got The Tits For Porn. God Help Her. ) FML

#20577745
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42891) - you deserved it (3967)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by flea-bitten (woman) - United States

TODAY... I WAS WATCHING A MOVIE WITH MY PARENTS WHEN A SEX SCENE CUMMED ON. AS IF THAT WASN'T AWKWARD ENOUGH... THEY STARTED MAKING OUT ON THE COUCH BEHIND ME. FML

#20577290
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57241) - you deserved it (5186)

On 04/06/2013 at 10:15am - intimacy - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

MY BEST FRIEND WAS THROWING ME MAH BACHELORETTE PARTLY . A COP CUMMED BY AND SAID THERE HAVE BEEN COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE NOISE . THINKING HE WAS THE STRIPPER WE ORDERED, WE PULLED HIM INTO THE HOUSE . HE WAS AN ACTUAL COP . MEGA FML

#20577218
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39889) - you deserved it (19487)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)



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