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Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30725) - you deserved it (2233)
On 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)
Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25198) - you deserved it (2232)
On 05/24/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by redneckfamily - United States (Washington)
Today, my aunt drove to my house and screamed at me for skateboarding in her driveway and denting her car. She then ransacked my room for said skateboard so she could break it in half. My aunt lives 4 hours away. I don't own a skateboard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32980) - you deserved it (1537)
On 05/23/2013 at 7:25pm - misc - by Dalistair (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my 6-year-old son spotted a bumper sticker that said, "Get any closer and I'll fart." He thought this was so hilarious that he had to repeat it to everyone he met. Including my doctor, my grandma, and my boss at "bring your kid to work day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25290) - you deserved it (3274)
On 05/23/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Mary (woman) - United States
Today, the communications expert I'm forced to work with added the line "as they can catch bigger fishes" to a film script. She does not believe me when I tell her that the plural of fish is "fish." This idiot not only has the final word, she makes twice what I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24685) - you deserved it (2598)
On 05/23/2013 at 4:15pm - work - by onefishtwofishes (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43089) - you deserved it (3614)
On 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I e-mailed the on-line instructor for my job, telling her that I had fallen behind in my work due to my grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope your grandmother gets better soon." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34992) - you deserved it (2188)
On 05/22/2013 at 8:28am - misc - by projectfain - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38480) - you deserved it (5561)
On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States
Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22605) - you deserved it (32921)
On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States
Today, I'm planning my big sister's wedding. My long-term, live-in boyfriend walked by and saw me looking at the wedding tab on Pinterest, smirked, and said, "Don't get your hopes up." I had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40918) - you deserved it (6306)
On 05/20/2013 at 12:47am - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States
Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38017) - you deserved it (5738)
On 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm - love - by SteroidPenguin (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42061) - you deserved it (3316)
On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -
Today, I registered on an irritable bowel support group, unknowingly linking it to my Facebook wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32821) - you deserved it (8829)
On 05/16/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36715) - you deserved it (3412)
On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30018) - you deserved it (16526)
On 05/14/2013 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Friday 24 May 2013
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