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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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CorynneCade

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CorynneCade

About CorynneCade : I have a pretty fu**ed up life so I'm glad I found a site that let's me know I'm not alone!

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CorynneCade's favorite FMLs

Today , I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then uses his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars. The jackass wouldnt split it. FML

#945188 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (83396) - you deserved it (10474)

On 04/13/2009 at 4:51am - misc - by AJShow80 - United States

Today, for Easter my brother & sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

#924153 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (94150) - you deserved it (3819)

On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML

#921004 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (14449) - you deserved it (70166)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (57255) - you deserved it (14843)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (52589) - you deserved it (7824)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men." he said "Oh ya, me too! I really like buff guys also." FML

#831202 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (53940) - you deserved it (8195)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:40am - love - by vela9002 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after finishing a huge French essay, I realized my printer wasn't working. So, I emailed it to a guy in my class to print and then give to me. When I get to French, he said he had already turned his in early and never got my email. It turned out he used mine. I got an F on the essay. FML

#635600 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (52372) - you deserved it (12083)

On 03/26/2009 at 11:38pm - misc - by lauren555 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was entered into an online contest where they announce your name on the radio and if you call in within an hour they pay your bills for you. I'm unemployed, so I got really excited when they announced my name. My call wouldn't go through - I hadn't paid my phone bill and the line was disconnected. FML

#630106 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (55199) - you deserved it (19954)

On 03/26/2009 at 8:24pm - money - by Broke (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that I'm failing this semester because I've missed too many classes. I've missed the classes because I've been having panic attacks, a symptom of my anxiety disorder. I got the anxiety disorder because I was so afraid of failing school. FML

#592595 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (79054) - you deserved it (18738)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:12am - work - by disfordiploma (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

#590218 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (11615) - you deserved it (73659)

On 03/24/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Loho (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to Itunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (335310) - you deserved it (16552)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a random pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML

#370215 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (42490) - you deserved it (29299)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by textraped (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

#368302 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (54645) - you deserved it (35086)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

#360907 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (61976) - you deserved it (12293)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by hala (woman) - United States (New York)