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About CorinnaHEY : Semper fi
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Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23236) - you deserved it (2409)
On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, at the DMV, I was told to push my forehead against a vision testing device on the counter to activate a blinking light. When nothing happened, the employee started yelling for me to push harder. I tried again, only to knock the whole thing into her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20062) - you deserved it (2021)
On 06/19/2011 at 1:51pm - misc - by sabadaba - United States (Arizona)
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13199) - you deserved it (1974)
On 06/06/2011 at 3:44am - intimacy - by ... - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15661) - you deserved it (44659)
On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11241) - you deserved it (31231)
On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -
Today, my mom informed me that she doesn't wash my clothes anymore. Instead, she sprays them with Febreze to "save money". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26382) - you deserved it (5511)
On 05/01/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by dirtyclothess -
Today, while my teacher was helping me with a problem, the gum he was chewing fell from his mouth and down my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34084) - you deserved it (3229)
On 04/28/2011 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37881) - you deserved it (11855)
On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)
Today, at work, a coworker started to tell me about his weekend, without me even asking. Halfway through his story, I started to daydream and lost track of time. Bored, I told him, "Hey man, I'll call you back, I've got to get back to work." Then I remembered I wasn't on the phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8713) - you deserved it (29603)
On 03/22/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by PFCdavila (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25218) - you deserved it (3694)
On 03/05/2011 at 12:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found a picture my husband had saved on the computer. It was of me, and he had named it "Fatter". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15996) - you deserved it (9472)
On 02/22/2011 at 3:38am - love - by just great... -
Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24530) - you deserved it (1684)
On 02/13/2011 at 6:38am - health - by floggingnasty - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26749) - you deserved it (19579)
On 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm - intimacy - by tht1chk - United States (California)
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27600) - you deserved it (15693)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20895) - you deserved it (6752)
On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
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