Coop817

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Coop817

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 February 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1997
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Coop817 : I enjoy reading FMLs so I can laugh at others misfortunes because laughter is the best medicine. Except if you have aids.

I'm not here to make friends. If I was looking for more friends, I wouldn't resort to an app full of people competing for shittier life stories.

I don't want to be a grammar nazi but nothing on this app pisses me off more than a dumbass. However, people DO make mistakes. Having said that, If I make a mistake, I'll own up to it.

I enjoy long walks on the beach, sharing my feelings, cuddling while watching a long movie, and licking peanut butter off my dogs balls.

Sometimes I aim for thumbs up and sometimes I aim for thumbs down because thumbs up is too mainstream.

Obviously I'm not always serious. Calm your tits.

Coop817's page activity

Visits<b>EevieBear</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 5:19pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 7:21am<b>NotRussian</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 3:58pm<b>Leobb16</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 6:53am<b>a_w7</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:53pm<b>AshPashxD</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 5:18pm<b>ExpectNeo</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:04pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 9:32am<b>shay_serendipity</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 9:49pm<b>MehrunesDagon456</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 11:41pm<b>taco_warrior17</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 6:14pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:14am<b>TheEmoSuperman</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 9:30am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:23am<b>xkore787</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 12:07am<b>Linksavestheday</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 8:31pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:41pm<b>jacquesromualdez</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 7:57am

Coop817's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Coop817's badges

Coop817's favorite FMLs

Today, my pants ripped while I was at work. I had to keep my balls to the wall while I dodged customers and edged ever closer to the break room. Before I could call my wife and ask her to bring a new pair, my boss burst in, got pissed, and made me go back out and deal with irate customers. FML

by fuckit / 01/31/2013 at 3:27pm / Italy (Lazio) / Work

Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML

by I'maboutobarf / 01/31/2013 at 5:28am / Australia / Health

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

by dr mamour / 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm / Love

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

by cay / 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

by Denki / 01/30/2013 at 7:21am / China (Beijing) / Love

Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

by Miss Blairgowrie / 01/30/2013 at 2:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

by idislikeblanks / 01/30/2013 at 2:03am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

by imwithapples22 / 01/29/2013 at 11:39am / United States / Work

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

by oh no / 01/29/2013 at 9:51am / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML

by oh ffs / 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML

by SonofDonald / 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm / United States / Love

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

by Keastwood013 / 01/18/2013 at 10:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

by Nightmare / 01/15/2013 at 9:41am / Kids