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CoolBreezeKing

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CoolBreezeKing

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1075
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About CoolBreezeKing : Hey what's up. I'm a pretty laid back guy who is tryin to take over the world. Have any questions just ask me. ⚡✌

CoolBreezeKing's page activity

Visits<b>DefiantGirl</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 10:28pm<b>cappellaaa</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:31pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 6:11pm<b>alice_in_mordor</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 12:11pm<b>alllisonnn</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 4:44pm<b>RamenForTheWin</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 6:11pm<b>nickellamelina</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 4:15am<b>itawebbies</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 2:52pm<b>jsmills92</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 10:45pm<b>Wormie14</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 4:29pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 7:04am<b>NothernNightmare</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 1:57am<b>MonChereAmore</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 8:24am<b>jack10001</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 1:49pm<b>plainoldLyss</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 2:30am<b>didiquesnel</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 2:01pm<b>Dennisse_47</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 1:06am<b>yanalynn</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 10:56pm

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CoolBreezeKing's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

#20547294
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28245) - you deserved it (49389)

On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37256) - you deserved it (2861)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55820) - you deserved it (14649)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

#20518411
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36214) - you deserved it (6148)

On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML

#20518187
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26974) - you deserved it (4480) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

#20517914
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29534) - you deserved it (3437)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

#20514475
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37369) - you deserved it (5289)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

#20505090
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27372) - you deserved it (7951)

On 02/13/2013 at 3:31pm - misc - by nosebleeder - Sweden

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

#20477055
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25078) - you deserved it (48145)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

#20461976
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12337) - you deserved it (47988)

On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41180) - you deserved it (7193)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29303) - you deserved it (6012)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML

#20178502
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12894) - you deserved it (25121)

On 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm - love - by dumping time (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)



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