About Complaining : I have no life.
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Complaining's favorite FMLs
Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML
by makeitstop / 08/04/2011 at 9:41am / United Kingdom / Kids
by FML / 07/29/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
by Nickname / 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML
by best_friend / 07/25/2011 at 2:43am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Cinnamon / 07/17/2011 at 8:04pm / Jamaica (Saint Andrew) / Intimacy
Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant, where the chefs cook the food right in front of you. Our chef tossed an egg in the air, but sadly didn't catch it. Don't worry though, my hair got it instead. FML
by KatrinaKitten / 07/16/2011 at 1:24pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by wispywee / 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
by nr1234 / 05/24/2011 at 12:27am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML
by Anonymous / 02/16/2011 at 7:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by frmitalywithlove / 01/10/2011 at 11:11pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years role-plays on the internet, pretending to have sex with men. His response when I confronted him about it? "Which specific incidents are you referring to?" FML
by heterolifepartner / 01/18/2010 at 1:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 7:36pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML
by Anonymous / 08/08/2009 at 3:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Love
Today, I was going on a plane to Chicago. My passport picture is 6 years old, and back then I was a beautiful model. Now, I gave birth to a child and gained 50 lbs. When I showed my passport to the airport atendents, I got arrested for stealing someones passport. FML
by chococool223 / 04/12/2009 at 6:51am / Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Transportation
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
by androgynous / 03/30/2009 at 1:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…