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Commandertoast

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Commandertoast

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Commandertoast's page activity

Visits<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 3:50pm

Commandertoast's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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Commandertoast's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at a retirement center, when an old woman came to me and askd if I would like her old clothes. I politely said, ( I'm sorry, but I'm a guy. ) She then said, ( You could have just said no, instead of rudely lying to me. ) FML

#16380790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35943) - you deserved it (4165)

On 05/28/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by Imaman - United States (Virginia)

Today , I walked into work looking lyk I had peed myself , all because mah husband thought it would be ( hilarious ) to slam on the brakes while I was drinking hot coffee. fat FML

#16371411
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30000) - you deserved it (3235)

On 05/27/2011 at 11:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

2day I went to hand in a job application, and the supervisor wantd to ask me a few questions!! I was nervous so I kept touching the fabric on a nereby display table!! Only after I left did mah friend tell me it was a pantie display, and that I was fondling underwear!! FML

#16369010
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25343) - you deserved it (8279)

On 05/27/2011 at 4:45am - work - by colebear - United States

Today, My Genius Boyfriend Was Trying To Remember A Particular Island In Te Caribbean Tat Was Used By Pirates In Te Past. I Offered Up Morocco. I Eard Im Facepalm Over Te Pone. FML

#16367949
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7806) - you deserved it (49468)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - love - by Derp-A-Herp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I made a fresh juice fir a customer . He called the cops because the juice was too acidic fir him . He sat in a corner an waited fir two hours fir them to arrive . Obviously, they didn't turn up . So he yelled at me an left . real FML

#16367942
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33780) - you deserved it (2770)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - work - by Alice - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to give a 63 year old man a shot. He startd bawling before I even brought out the needle. I trid to get him calm down. Then he grabbd the needle, threw it at me and ran out the door. FML

#16365473
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30549) - you deserved it (2931)

On 05/26/2011 at 11:05pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to a restaurant an sat at the last available table, which had a seat available across from me . A cute girl approachd an askd if she could sit down, so I said "Sure" an made some room . She then askd "You're leaving, right?" real FML

Today... my sister and I were eating at Wendy's. On the way out... I thought it would be funny to kick the door open and yell... "This is Sparta!" I lost my balance and fell flat on my butt. FML

#16359968
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7890) - you deserved it (60695)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:31pm - misc - by taydean - United States (Colorado)

Today, I witnessd te miracle of life . More specifically, ma cat giving birt on ma bd at four in te morning looool . FML

#16359645
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35718) - you deserved it (7035)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm - animals - by KittenTime (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Taday I Found Out My Mom Intentionally Puts Extra Butter And Oil In The Food She Cooks Fir Me Because She Wants Me To Be Fatter Than Her. FML

#16355568
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54613) - you deserved it (3461)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:24am - health - by fatteningmeup (woman) - United States

Today, I stoppd to help a strandd motorist. I yelld out my window, ( Hey do u ned a hand? ) The guy was just standing beside his car taking a piss.

#16355450
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27836) - you deserved it (6349)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:06am - misc - by Emoney1 - Canada

Today... I ad to explain very slowly to my mum wy se cannot put metal cutlery in te microwave. Se did it anyway. FML

#16354209
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30885) - you deserved it (2659)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:48am - misc - by smarterthanmymum - United Kingdom

2day mah mom asked if I was seeing anyone!! I launched into a description of mah girlfriend, only 4 her to interrupt, saying that she meant a therapist, and the fact that I'd just made up a relationship was further proof that I needed one!! I really do have a girlfriend!! FML

#16353801
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39152) - you deserved it (3406)

On 05/26/2011 at 3:53am - love - by lovingpsychosis - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today I went to hand in a resume. The secretary happened to be a grl I liked in high school. When leaving I shook hands with the employer waved goodbye to the grl turned around and walked straight into a glass wall. FML

#16353069
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31300) - you deserved it (5965)

On 05/26/2011 at 2:00am - work - by Fred (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was texting at work when mah manager walked in. I quickly dropped mah phone in the garbage to avoid trouble. Since I was working so hard, she decided to do me a favor an throw the trash out for me. FML

#16352403
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9747) - you deserved it (51382)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:04am - work - by explosiveBAM - United States



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