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Commandertoast's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
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Commandertoast's favorite FMLs
Today, I was working at a retirement center, when an old woman came to me and asked if I would like her old clothes. I politely said, "I'm sorry, but I'm a guy." She then said, "You could have just said no, instead of rudely lying to me." FML
by Imaman / 05/28/2011 at 12:09am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/27/2011 at 11:31am / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
Today, I went to hand in a job application, and the supervisor wanted to ask me a few questions. I was nervous so I kept touching the fabric on a nearby display table. Only after I left did my friend tell me it was a pantie display, and that I was fondling underwear. FML
by colebear / 05/27/2011 at 4:45am / United States / Work
by Derp-A-Herp / 05/27/2011 at 1:46am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML
by Alice / 05/27/2011 at 1:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, I had to give a 63 year old man a shot. He started bawling before I even brought out the needle. I tried to get him calm down. Then he grabbed the needle, threw it at me and ran out the door. FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
Today, I went to a restaurant and sat at the last available table, which had a seat available across from me. A cute girl approached and asked if she could sit down, so I said "Sure" and made some room. She then asked "You're leaving, right?" FML
by StatusSearch / 05/26/2011 at 7:36pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by taydean / 05/26/2011 at 5:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
by KittenTime / 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals
by fatteningmeup / 05/26/2011 at 10:24am / United States / Health
by Emoney1 / 05/26/2011 at 10:06am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by smarterthanmymum / 05/26/2011 at 5:48am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom asked if I was seeing anyone. I launched into a description of my girlfriend, only for her to interrupt, saying that she meant a therapist, and the fact that I'd just made up a relationship was further proof that I needed one. I really do have a girlfriend. FML
by lovingpsychosis / 05/26/2011 at 3:53am / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Love
Today, I went to hand in a resume. The secretary happened to be a girl I liked in high school. When leaving, I shook hands with the employer, waved goodbye to the girl, turned around and walked straight into a glass wall. FML
by Fred / 05/26/2011 at 2:00am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I was texting at work when my manager walked in. I quickly dropped my phone in the garbage to avoid trouble. Since I was working so hard, she decided to do me a favor and throw the trash out for me. FML
by explosiveBAM / 05/26/2011 at 1:04am / United States / Work
- Today, after tossing and turning for hours trying to sleep, I finally doze off. I am then awoken by… Today, I was woken up around 2 in the morning to my father entering my room to urinate in the cat… Today, My two Co-Workers and I realized that we have been working for the same company for years as…