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Commandertoast's favorite FMLs
by veggiepower11028 / 05/31/2011 at 8:02am / Love
Today, I finally found out what that weird smell in my apartment was. My ex-boyfriend had been breaking into my apartment and hiding rotting fruit all over the place. I found this out when a ceiling panel fell and a swarm of fruit flies attacked me. FML
by thiswouldonlyhappentome / 05/30/2011 at 8:33pm / Aruba / Animals
by OopsKid / 05/30/2011 at 2:14pm / France / Miscellaneous
by trev / 05/30/2011 at 12:12pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health
by Jess / 05/30/2011 at 11:46am / United States / Miscellaneous
by skigal24 / 05/30/2011 at 10:59am / United States (Illinois) / Health
by Miramichi / 05/30/2011 at 8:18am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love
Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML
by weddingblues / 05/30/2011 at 12:19am / United States (New York) / Geek
Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML
by milkymoo / 05/29/2011 at 9:45pm / Cyprus / Work
Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML
by CAchickadee / 05/29/2011 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by shouldhavecheckedthelock / 05/28/2011 at 9:56pm / United States (Maryland) / Geek
Today, it's memorial day weekend. The cops are all over the place watching for speeders and drunks. Some complete dickhead decided to spray paint "cop killa" on the side of my car. It won't come off. FML
by mperh / 05/28/2011 at 8:46am / United States / Transportation
by justletitbeover / 05/28/2011 at 8:20am / United Kingdom (London) / Health
by Fuckit / 05/28/2011 at 1:51am / United States (Idaho) / Love
by greenhide8 / 05/28/2011 at 1:27am / United States (North Dakota) / Money
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…
- Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him… Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told… Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he…