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Commandertoast

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Commandertoast

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  • Number of visits : 352
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Commandertoast's page activity

Visits<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 3:50pm

Commandertoast's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Commandertoast's badges

Commandertoast's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife finally came home from deployment. Apparently, in the military she really built up some muscle. When she saw me at the airport, she picked me up like a baby and spun me around in her arms a few times. I'm a little scared of her now. FML

#20530533
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38927) - you deserved it (9414)

On 03/04/2013 at 2:36am - love - by married to wonder woman (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45473) - you deserved it (5935) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29270) - you deserved it (3613)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32740) - you deserved it (7553)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46426) - you deserved it (3966)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner was ready, his reply was, "Five minutes, so no, you can't go upstairs for a quickie". FML

#19407529
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26703) - you deserved it (6429)

On 04/04/2012 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by KatieB (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

#19391637
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38252) - you deserved it (2894)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by ohgod... - Canada (Quebec)

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

#19349740
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26615) - you deserved it (2741)

On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML

#19348110
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29212) - you deserved it (3502)

On 03/25/2012 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by user210 (woman) - United States

Today, I started my new job at a restaurant. I am going to be the mascot that stands by the road to wave down customers in a heavy polyester animal suit. The high today is 102. I work 12-4. FML

#16575408
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32784) - you deserved it (5737)

On 06/09/2011 at 7:50am - work - by aeghw1s - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

#16571694
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30552) - you deserved it (5518)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

#16569461
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44557) - you deserved it (4600)

On 06/08/2011 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I wrote in my own yearbook with different styles of handwriting so my mom would think I have friends. FML

#16445488
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49735) - you deserved it (13434)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:28am - misc - by nofriends - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my boyfriend refused to take me out on our three year anniversary because he was busy, "training to become a professional gamer." FML

#16441244
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32259) - you deserved it (7960)

On 05/31/2011 at 8:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil



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