About ComTlancy : I love cosplay and long-distance running so I like to combine the two for fun!
50 quality responses
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100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26973) - you deserved it (7540)
On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8910) - you deserved it (36747)
On 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm - animals - by bobo - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I have a new boss. She claims to be a professional Angry Birds player. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25247) - you deserved it (4448)
On 04/22/2011 at 10:42am - work - by Username -
Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37830) - you deserved it (5076)
On 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by FrOsTy25 -
Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14165) - you deserved it (27353)
On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -
Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27833) - you deserved it (18871)
On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39341) - you deserved it (12264)
On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30165) - you deserved it (24882)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29931) - you deserved it (43723)
On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)
Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML
I agree, your life sucks (10954) - you deserved it (36940)
On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)
Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8908) - you deserved it (23401)
On 02/24/2011 at 2:32pm - health - by Steve - United States (California)
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38041) - you deserved it (4376)
On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said "Good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12031) - you deserved it (24088)
On 10/18/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7924) - you deserved it (32607)
On 05/15/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by Staples - United Kingdom
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5988) - you deserved it (27100)
On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 20 May 2013
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