About ComTlancy : I love cosplay and long-distance running so I like to combine the two for fun!
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100 kick ass comments
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Mobility
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Today, after weeks, I've finally reached my goal and lost 10 lbs. My sister got jealous about me losing weight, and told my parents and coworkers that I'm anorexic. Hello, intervention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27404) - you deserved it (1938)
On 07/01/2011 at 1:56am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7540) - you deserved it (75714)
On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States
Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12379) - you deserved it (24298)
On 06/15/2011 at 5:02am - health - by Alec - United States
Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11192) - you deserved it (25901)
On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)
Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40870) - you deserved it (4218)
On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)
Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11233) - you deserved it (32366)
On 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by Flarewolf (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18080) - you deserved it (27817)
On 06/03/2011 at 8:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43868) - you deserved it (7848)
On 06/03/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too much free time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8851) - you deserved it (28357)
On 06/02/2011 at 4:46am - intimacy - by tomuchtime -
Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13869) - you deserved it (5658)
On 05/28/2011 at 1:27am - money - by greenhide8 - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27717) - you deserved it (15522)
On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (47669)
On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -
Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31173) - you deserved it (11357)
On 05/14/2011 at 6:43am - health - by BrownDump - United States
Today, while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd of people staring at me in disgust. Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, developed a boner, and started french-kissing the air. I had to sit through both the surveillance tapes and a grand bollocking from security in the aftermath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31544) - you deserved it (7622)
On 05/13/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by f*cks_sake - United States (Ohio)
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a work mate I took a sip of the tea which I had forgotten was boiling hot and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22944) - you deserved it (7377)
Monday 20 May 2013
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