Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (14 minutes ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 November 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3131
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Colecto : Film director, 'Digital Arts' graduate, 'Mensa' member

Colecto's page activity

Visits<b>CliffPaul</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 10:57pm<b>spn_fanboy14</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 2:39am<b>LoneWolf2879</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 1:14pm<b>romanfelixlegion</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 7:54am<b>lavapants</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 3:17am<b>Canes2292</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 12:12am<b>Tenker</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:35pm<b>jsan727</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:01am<b>DarkJediLove</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 10:56am<b>CptHeinz</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 8:52am<b>LexiD19</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 8:37am<b>mimidamian</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 8:22am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 3:48pm<b>KazutoKirigia</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 4:29am<b>rubendt72</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 2:46am<b>newzealand</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 4:16pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 8:02am<b>apineapple</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 7:14pm

Fucked!<b>Tenker</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 5:35am<b>jsan727</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 5:01pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 9:49pm<b>KazutoKirigia</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 10:29am<b>newzealand</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 10:17pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 9:21pm<b>moneylessrc</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 2:38pm<b>demonicninja</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 1:55pm<b>VoldooPed</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 1:43pm<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:52pm<b>Abskb1</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 4:39am<b>Inquizeron</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 8:28am<b>aclark2523</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 3:48pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 1:18am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 1:44am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 9:21pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 5:33am

Colecto's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Colecto's badges

Colecto's favorite FMLs

Today, a young boy helped me carry my groceries home. He then asked me to sign his sheet to certify that he had done half an hour of service to the elderly. I'm 46. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39838) - you deserved it (5639)

On 04/17/2011 at 5:32am - kids - by ::Tracy:: - Australia (New South Wales)

­Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29410) - you deserved it (3757)

On 04/10/2011 at 3:32pm - animals - by a man - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43284) - you deserved it (10028)

On 12/13/2010 at 3:29pm - love - by phonesage (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (39846) - you deserved it (22459)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, we were building the homecoming float, the theme is Seasons of Love. We went around the yard and put random leaves on the float. My friend's dad looked at the float and said, "You do realize that's poison ivy?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (10020) - you deserved it (28684)

On 10/10/2010 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (44538) - you deserved it (3195)

On 09/28/2010 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I went on a trip with some people from work to watch a baseball game. Halfway through the game, one of my managers shook my hand and said "Nice to Meet You." I've been working there for 3 months. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27515) - you deserved it (4352)

On 08/12/2010 at 5:03am - work - by skyphoenix (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got my sister to pluck my eyebrows. She shaped them wrong, so now I look constantly sad. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19164) - you deserved it (28740)

On 07/13/2010 at 11:02am - misc - by OhNo - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I found out that my ex-boyfriend stole a pair of my underwear, and still wears them to this day. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28817) - you deserved it (2787)

On 02/22/2010 at 1:11pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML


I agree, your life sucks (50527) - you deserved it (5082)

On 05/29/2009 at 5:09pm - health - by PiZzA_FaCe (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up really early before my mom so I could make pancakes for mother's day. I placed everything on a tray and even picked a flower, had a card for her and took it to her bedroom. She said "You shouldn't have, pancakes are fattening." She took one bite and fed the rest to the dogs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (67188) - you deserved it (4079)

On 05/10/2009 at 8:36am - love - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, like every other day, I turn up at work at the security guard's gate to show my ID badge. Except that my brother had stuck a huge "FBI" sticker on it. My co-workers now all call me Mulder. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18628) - you deserved it (2945)

On 01/13/2009 at 4:47am - work - by MAC - Sent from mobile version

Today, my flatmate was listening to opera on full volume all afternoon and now he's playing James Bond on the trumpet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (3057)

On 12/29/2008 at 1:09am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: