About Colecto : 'Digital Arts' student, actress, 'Mensa' member
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24900) - you deserved it (3126) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9589) - you deserved it (26556)
On 11/21/2011 at 1:23am - kids - by BadFather (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19590) - you deserved it (4672)
On 11/17/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Damnit (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23430) - you deserved it (5080)
On 11/12/2011 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35970) - you deserved it (6095)
On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29901) - you deserved it (5780)
On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States
Today, I had botox injections to stop my face sweating so much. Now the sweat is almost gone, but my facial expression seems to be stuck on "baffled." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8609) - you deserved it (22401)
On 11/07/2011 at 11:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22813) - you deserved it (7024)
On 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by whatadisappointmnet (woman) - United States
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23328) - you deserved it (6429)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10372) - you deserved it (29921)
On 08/13/2011 at 4:22pm - misc - by ifailsobadly (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23451) - you deserved it (2701)
On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17626) - you deserved it (35909)
On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)
Today, a young boy helped me carry my groceries home. He then asked me to sign his sheet to certify that he had done half an hour of service to the elderly. I'm 46. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30164) - you deserved it (4107)
On 04/17/2011 at 5:32am - kids - by ::Tracy:: - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20401) - you deserved it (2641)
On 04/10/2011 at 3:32pm - animals - by a man - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32939) - you deserved it (7370)
On 12/13/2010 at 3:29pm - love - by phonesage (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
