About Colecto : 'Digital Arts' student, actress, 'Mensa' member
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Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18850) - you deserved it (10827)
On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I finally achieved the perfect hourglass figure. Too bad I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15848) - you deserved it (3543)
On 06/25/2012 at 10:05am - misc - by Wwiimaniac (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my daughter tried to sneak out of the house. When I caught her, she freaked out and punched me in the face. She then "snapped out of it" and claimed she was sleepwalking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19309) - you deserved it (2360)
On 06/25/2012 at 12:08am - kids - by abbielane - United States (Michigan)
Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20330) - you deserved it (2068)
On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20694) - you deserved it (7340)
Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23341) - you deserved it (6331)
On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17486) - you deserved it (1743)
On 05/29/2012 at 3:54am - health - by sopheeah - Australia (Victoria)
Today, the Star Wars Cantina song had been stuck in my head since I woke up, as my brother was humming it. I finally managed to get it out of my head. Then my mom started to whistle it. It's stuck in my head again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11978) - you deserved it (3020)
On 05/07/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14741) - you deserved it (5548)
On 05/05/2012 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25102) - you deserved it (5454)
On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19001) - you deserved it (3090)
On 04/27/2012 at 11:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15391) - you deserved it (8546)
On 04/05/2012 at 7:29am - misc - by Nadaz (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7816) - you deserved it (27224)
On 03/22/2012 at 2:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10016) - you deserved it (34377)
On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26451) - you deserved it (1657)
On 01/01/2012 at 8:51am - misc - by Grandson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 20 May 2013
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