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Colecto

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Colecto

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 November 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2082
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Colecto : Film director, 'Digital Arts' graduate, 'Mensa' member

Colecto's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 3:21pm<b>No_Escape</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 12:43pm<b>WoodenBoy</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 10:44pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 11:33pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 5:15am<b>Alexv572</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:24pm<b>battlehamster</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:32pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:59pm<b>matty112422</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:25am<b>isabel0010</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:17am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:05am<b>SnowboarderFX</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 4:54am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 4:06am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 9:57am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 4:53pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:21pm<b>okthelegend</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 9:37pm<b>BobRoss9</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 3:13am

Liked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 9:21pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 5:33am

Colecto's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Colecto's badges

Colecto's favorite FMLs

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22311) - you deserved it (64351)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

#21078055
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49705) - you deserved it (6066)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by cockfist (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54807) - you deserved it (6343)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60530) - you deserved it (9143)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

#20453308
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39529) - you deserved it (6389)

On 01/11/2013 at 6:36am - love - by GiraffeLover - Australia

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

#20009332
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29003) - you deserved it (3137)

On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

#19983177
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27347) - you deserved it (3054)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:03am - love - by Unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26134) - you deserved it (12394)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

#19982867
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8457) - you deserved it (25087)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:14am - misc - by Rochelle (woman) - United States

Today, while trying to look cute and playing with my hair in front of a boy, I pulled a piece of my hair extension out. FML

#19974233
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6892) - you deserved it (42156)

On 07/22/2012 at 10:13am - misc - by Roma-Jay - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my neighbors bought a signal scrambler to stop their kids from going on the internet at night. Too bad it blocks my internet too. FML

#19974193
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27182) - you deserved it (2127)

On 07/22/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by XxFA1LxX - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister and I had a huge fight because I flushed the toilet while she was taking a bath. The faucet for the bath was not running, but she insisted that she felt the water in the tub turn "scalding hot." She won't listen when I try to explain to her that it doesn't work like that. FML

#19972921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25570) - you deserved it (1726)

On 07/22/2012 at 2:54am - misc - by Raaaaage - United States (California)

Today, some friends told me that my natural body odor smells like cooked beef and roasted onions. I'm disgustingly delicious. FML

#19972809
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18296) - you deserved it (3926)

On 07/22/2012 at 2:34am - health - by hungry? - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24817) - you deserved it (5589)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)



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