Colecto

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Colecto

19Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 November 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3239
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About Colecto : Film director, 'Digital Arts' graduate, 'Mensa' member

Colecto's page activity

Visits<b>byattwain</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 10:38am<b>TgtMech</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 10:34am<b>MrScootyPuffSr</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 10:30am<b>javankipp</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 10:23am<b>robotech80</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:37am<b>thomas5915</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 11:14pm<b>tengo</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 3:33pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 1:51pm<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 1:18am<b>LPac5295</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 2:36am<b>whos_ur_daddy1</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 1:56am<b>DBpiano</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 12:51am<b>H3LL_K1D</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:57pm<b>CliffPaul</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 10:57pm<b>spn_fanboy14</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 2:39am<b>LoneWolf2879</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 1:14pm<b>romanfelixlegion</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 7:54am<b>lavapants</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 3:17am

Fucked!<b>thomas5915</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 12:15am<b>DBpiano</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 6:07pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 5:35am<b>jsan727</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 5:01pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 9:49pm<b>KazutoKirigia</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 10:29am<b>newzealand</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 10:17pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 9:21pm<b>moneylessrc</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 2:38pm<b>demonicninja</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 1:55pm<b>VoldooPed</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 1:43pm<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:52pm<b>Abskb1</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 4:39am<b>Inquizeron</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 8:28am<b>aclark2523</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 3:48pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 1:18am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 1:44am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 9:21pm

Colecto's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Colecto's badges

Colecto's favorite FMLs

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

by ShutTheFuCupcake / 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

by cockfist / 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

by GiraffeLover / 01/11/2013 at 6:36am / Australia / Love

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

by blakeintheoffice / 08/08/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Work

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

by Unlucky / 07/25/2012 at 9:03am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

by Rochelle / 07/25/2012 at 2:14am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while trying to look cute and playing with my hair in front of a boy, I pulled a piece of my hair extension out. FML

by Roma-Jay / 07/22/2012 at 10:13am / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbors bought a signal scrambler to stop their kids from going on the internet at night. Too bad it blocks my internet too. FML

by XxFA1LxX / 07/22/2012 at 9:57am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister and I had a huge fight because I flushed the toilet while she was taking a bath. The faucet for the bath was not running, but she insisted that she felt the water in the tub turn "scalding hot." She won't listen when I try to explain to her that it doesn't work like that. FML

by Raaaaage / 07/22/2012 at 2:54am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, some friends told me that my natural body odor smells like cooked beef and roasted onions. I'm disgustingly delicious. FML

by hungry? / 07/22/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

by cortanaisahobot / 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy