ColdplaySucks

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Offline (the 05/18/2016 at 9:06am)

ColdplaySucks

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3628
  • Number of comments : 586
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ColdplaySucks : Want to steal a song and claim it your own? Ask Chris Martin.

Bloody Stardust - Life Is A Temple -> Princess of China
Joe Satriani - If I Could Fly -> Viva La Vida

ColdplaySucks's page activity

Visits<b>2simz</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 7:17pm<b>patient4479</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 2:11am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 7:40pm<b>Dilexar</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 1:46am<b>mnicaias</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 11:23pm<b>cobldude</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 11:55pm<b>DatBlueDerp</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 5:30pm<b>questelove</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 2:18pm<b>davidpropert</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 10:27am<b>turtles_yup</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 7:01pm<b>Kaoticwolf</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 8:57am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 9:45am<b>1HateMyUsername</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 11:04am<b>jman1324</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 4:25pm<b>SeveralLake</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 6:08pm<b>sngrrrr</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:15am<b>kageboy</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 11:22pm<b>Arestian</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:32pm

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 1:40am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 1:34am

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ColdplaySucks's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2013 at 5:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

by FireoftheFuture / 05/02/2013 at 7:02am / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

by madiison09 / 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

by SFra / 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm / United States / Love

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

by ryanharp2 / 07/27/2012 at 1:05am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML

by offended / 06/14/2012 at 4:11am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

by Monsieur-Madame / 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love

Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML

by Discouraged / 05/31/2012 at 8:43am / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I scored the winning goal in my soccer tournament. For the other team. FML

Today, I found out it takes no special training to put a large glass marble up my nostril but may require someone with a medical degree to remove it. FML

by Beaky / 10/12/2011 at 1:09am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 1:38am / Canada / Love