Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ColdplaySucks

Search for a member

ColdplaySucks

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2925
  • Number of comments : 586
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ColdplaySucks : Want to steal a song and claim it your own? Ask Chris Martin.

Bloody Stardust - Life Is A Temple -> Princess of China
Joe Satriani - If I Could Fly -> Viva La Vida

ColdplaySucks's page activity

Visits<b>PerfectDude</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 11:41pm<b>Arkajion</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:48pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 5:07pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:03pm<b>charlesthaman</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 11:21pm<b>The_Brr</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 7:56pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 3:51pm<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:32pm<b>PinkiePiePony</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 7:30pm<b>shinklefly</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 5:49am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 10:52am<b>PiNYANo</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 11:06pm<b>Lel_Man</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 6:03pm<b>Duckzy</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 2:08pm<b>Chilupa</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 11:55pm<b>christinamarie17</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 5:07am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 7:18pm<b>mutiplyyou</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 8:23am

ColdplaySucks's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ColdplaySucks's badges

ColdplaySucks's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

#20858152
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38925) - you deserved it (2747)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

#20636525
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27913) - you deserved it (50223)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:02am - work - by FireoftheFuture - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50707) - you deserved it (10881)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59365) - you deserved it (5982)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

#20130407
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24481) - you deserved it (2708)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21945) - you deserved it (2772)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

#19986553
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5923) - you deserved it (37379)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML

#19785807
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22501) - you deserved it (2015)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by offended (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29260) - you deserved it (2823) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML

#19708903
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27918) - you deserved it (2162)

On 05/31/2012 at 8:43am - kids - by Discouraged - United States (Maryland)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11933) - you deserved it (89118)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34493) - you deserved it (6041)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I scored the winning goal in my soccer tournament. For the other team. FML

Today, I found out it takes no special training to put a large glass marble up my nostril but may require someone with a medical degree to remove it. FML

#17965139
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5503) - you deserved it (43864)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:09am - misc - by Beaky (woman) - Canada

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31637) - you deserved it (4779)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: