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ColdplaySucks

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3087
  • Number of comments : 586
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ColdplaySucks : Want to steal a song and claim it your own? Ask Chris Martin.

Bloody Stardust - Life Is A Temple -> Princess of China
Joe Satriani - If I Could Fly -> Viva La Vida

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Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 1:34am

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ColdplaySucks's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

#20858152
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38987) - you deserved it (2754)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

#20636525
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27949) - you deserved it (50270)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:02am - work - by FireoftheFuture - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50798) - you deserved it (10891)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59437) - you deserved it (5982)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

#20130407
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24546) - you deserved it (2714)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22014) - you deserved it (2776)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

#19986553
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5939) - you deserved it (37469)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML

#19785807
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22553) - you deserved it (2018)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by offended (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29334) - you deserved it (2825) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML

#19708903
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29572) - you deserved it (2323)

On 05/31/2012 at 8:43am - kids - by Discouraged - United States (Maryland)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12098) - you deserved it (91534)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34563) - you deserved it (6048)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I scored the winning goal in my soccer tournament. For the other team. FML

Today, I found out it takes no special training to put a large glass marble up my nostril but may require someone with a medical degree to remove it. FML

#17965139
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6226) - you deserved it (46372)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:09am - misc - by Beaky (woman) - Canada

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31696) - you deserved it (4783)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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