About CodeMonkey123 : I'm simply tired of all the idiots here.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got into an argument with a 7 year old. He said that Obama was the 44th President, I said he was the 42nd. Guess who was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7767) - you deserved it (61400)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by feeldumb - United States (New York)
Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62381) - you deserved it (3688)
On 06/10/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Sylvania - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97185) - you deserved it (56303)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was doing the laundry, but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39) - you deserved it (41244)
On 06/10/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by potpurri_needed (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63896) - you deserved it (4980)
On 06/10/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by superman_not (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)
Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17618) - you deserved it (43069)
On 06/10/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by sluttydancer (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46812) - you deserved it (2267)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by dodgerkiss (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40014) - you deserved it (1923)
On 06/09/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by vishurricanes (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, it was my girlfriends birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71087) - you deserved it (5306)
On 06/09/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by SURPRISE (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, it was my girlfriends birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71087) - you deserved it (5306)
On 06/09/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by SURPRISE (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98682) - you deserved it (5178)
On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my husband and I decided to get a little frisky in bed. After we were done we lay spent on our bed then only to hear weird noises coming from our doorway. To our surprise not only had our daughter taken her first steps but has been watching and now making the noises as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43652) - you deserved it (22196)
On 06/09/2009 at 11:36am - intimacy - by PreciousIve - United States (New York)
Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (90951) - you deserved it (3248)
On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, the girl I am in love with invited me to stay with her in Europe for 2 weeks, she is even paying for the flights and accommodation. It's because I am such a special friend to her and she wants me to come up to meet her fiancé before she gets married. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53757) - you deserved it (4148)
On 06/08/2009 at 9:28pm - love - by doomed (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73195) - you deserved it (15325)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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