CodeMonkey123

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CodeMonkey123

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 25160
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About CodeMonkey123 : I'm simply tired of all the idiots here.

CodeMonkey123's page activity

Visits<b>The12thPaladin</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 11:40pm<b>bmckee196</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 4:33pm<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 8:11am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 12:46am<b>18peanutbutter__</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:57pm<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 3:46pm<b>climbingguitar45</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 10:20pm<b>Knighthawk876</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 12:46am<b>xDochx</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 7:45pm<b>NomadicWanderer</b> - the 06/12/2012 at 11:11am<b>SilverPseudoKing</b> - the 01/16/2012 at 8:02pm<b>Robotata</b> - the 04/13/2011 at 2:27am<b>TheZarola</b> - the 04/01/2011 at 9:56pm<b>pinklover24</b> - the 03/12/2011 at 4:40pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:21am<b>kakyoin</b> - the 02/23/2011 at 12:29pm<b>Fruhling</b> - the 02/19/2011 at 5:57pm<b>MissArtsie</b> - the 12/28/2009 at 11:54pm

CodeMonkey123's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CodeMonkey123's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2009 at 7:23am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after buying the plane ticket to Glendale, CA to visit 17 year old Courtney who I met on a dating website, she called me for the first time to say that she was actually 19 year old Seth from Atlanta, GA. FML

by gabe8 / 06/15/2009 at 1:42am / Mexico (Nuevo Leon) / Love

Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML

by bitches. / 06/14/2009 at 8:39pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family was discussing the new rules of the house we are moving in. They told my sister she couldn't have any boys in her room. They didn't tell me I couldn't have any girls in my room. Even my parents think I can't get a girlfriend. FML

by FML1994 / 06/14/2009 at 1:20pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at school, I was trying to pee in the stall, but I couldn't. I repeatedly pushed my bladder. Unfortunately, I didn't realize a number of thing. My stall was open, I made noises from frustration, and I looked like I was jacking off. When I gave up, somebody clapped and yelled, "FINALLY!" FML

by Bes / 06/14/2009 at 11:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I went over to my boyfriends house with a few people. I drank too much wine and later when everyone else left I gave him head, deepthroating a little too enthusiastically, and puked all over his cock and bedsheets. Turns out, washing vomit out of your pubes kills the mood somewhat. FML

by ohdeardarling / 06/14/2009 at 9:08am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy

Today, my adorable 8 year old son told me he no longer wanted me to pick him up from school. When I asked why, he said, "I told everyone at school my mommy is pretty... and I don't want people to know I lied." FML

by andthatshowitgoes / 06/14/2009 at 1:42am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

by BarbieKen / 06/14/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was so excited to play the video game I just bought, I decided to read the manual in the game. I went over the seizure warning and thought to myself, who the hell gets a seizure from playing a video game? Apparently I do. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2009 at 8:47pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I found out the identity of the pervert who's been staring at me through my bedroom window in the late hours of the night. My parents and I decided to set out a trap for 'him' instead of reporting to our local cop. Turns out, we caught my 37 year-old neighbor in the act. He's the cop. FML

by Meg / 06/13/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in my backyard. When I wanted to come back in the house, I tried to open the sliding door. I knew that my brother locked me out so I banged on the door very hard, causing the glass to break. It turns out that the door wasn't locked. FML

by knoppad / 06/13/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

by Toothy_Peg / 06/13/2009 at 11:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2009 at 2:40am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I realized that I've been a member of eHarmony for almost a year. No one has ever contacted me out of the 134 people I've been "scientifically" matched with. FML

by Anon / 06/13/2009 at 1:17am / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, a man came up to me at the bus stop. He went into this long story about how his girlfriend is pregnant and they both haven't eaten in days. Trying to be tough and funny I said back, "sounds like you should invest in condoms instead of food." He responded by beating and robbing me. FML

by beatenbyabum / 06/12/2009 at 4:45pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.