[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

CodeMonkey123

Search for a member

CodeMonkey123
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22815
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About CodeMonkey123 : I'm simply tired of all the idiots here.

CodeMonkey123's last visitors

SilverPseudoKingRobotatapinklover24MissArtsiewtfismyfml_miss_anonymous_Lambshanks

CodeMonkey123's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CodeMonkey123's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML

#3073543 (258)

I agree, your life sucks (48310) - you deserved it (11597)

On 06/20/2009 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by anonyme (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at about 1 a.m. I got a drunk text from my girlfriend thanking me for the amazing sex last night. I have been out of town for 3 days. FML

#3068602 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (54688) - you deserved it (2529)

On 06/20/2009 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by desocrates (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML

#3058885 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (13929) - you deserved it (42199)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML

#3042247 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (43452) - you deserved it (4357)

On 06/19/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by thissucks (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML

#3036778 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (31891) - you deserved it (3396)

On 06/19/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML

#3028643 (398)

I agree, your life sucks (44090) - you deserved it (9260)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went outside a friend's house to find that my car had been saran wrapped. I cleaned it up and went back inside the house. An hour later, I heard a doorbell ring so I went outside the house. They saran wrapped my car again. FML

#3017259 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (33995) - you deserved it (3927)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by bear92 - United States (Virginia)

Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML

#3017224 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (41627) - you deserved it (12357)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by oops... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (10038) - you deserved it (72682)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was riding the bus home from the Verizon store after getting my brand new EnV Touch. I was taking pictures with it when I noticed a woman with very nice boobs. I zoomed in to get a better picture when she looked at me with a disgusted face. The external display was on. FML

#2997013 (355)

I agree, your life sucks (4322) - you deserved it (63728)

On 06/18/2009 at 2:12pm - misc - by heythurr234 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read "you can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML

#2992603 (277)

I agree, your life sucks (73845) - you deserved it (3297)

On 06/18/2009 at 11:08am - intimacy - by larvagirl23 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they actually called up. FML

#2990758 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (15877) - you deserved it (30383)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Jessey (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me telling me I have problems communicating and that I didn't understand her. When I asked her why she didn't talk to me about this before she said "I didn't want to talk about it." FML

#2987293 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (41914) - you deserved it (2138)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

#2984635 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (65709) - you deserved it (1866)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States

Today, I took home my grandpa's ashes. I then went out with my grandma, leaving my 5-year-old at home with my 12-year-old. When I got home, my beaming 5-year-old opened the door, covered in white powder. My grandmother asked where all the powder had come from. She pointed to the empty ashbox. FML

#2980433 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (35337) - you deserved it (10869)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:40pm - love - by fcnk (woman) - United States (California)