Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CobraLazerFace

Search for a member

CobraLazerFace

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5455
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About CobraLazerFace : Looking for lucrative way to acquire street cred.

CobraLazerFace's page activity

Visits<b>buckdharma</b> - 11 hours ago<b>saba_ajira</b> - 12 hours ago<b>Dabombr</b> - 12 hours ago<b>Aquamarine9</b> - 12 hours ago<b>sweetbliss3</b> - 13 hours ago<b>SuchDogeManyWows</b> - 13 hours ago<b>MissLynne</b> - 13 hours ago<b>ThatEngineerGirl</b> - 15 hours ago<b>GroupWorkSucks</b> - 16 hours ago<b>doggirl8</b> - 16 hours ago<b>anormalperson</b> - 16 hours ago<b>funkychicken245</b> - 17 hours ago<b>melons</b> - 17 hours ago<b>ChristianH39</b> - 17 hours ago<b>NeverComments</b> - 18 hours ago<b>PeterCapaldi</b> - 18 hours ago<b>tournamentdecide</b> - 18 hours ago<b>ImAFaker</b> - 18 hours ago

CobraLazerFace's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of CobraLazerFace's badges

CobraLazerFace's favorite FMLs

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49031) - you deserved it (6736)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28969) - you deserved it (37282)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

#21213268
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50496) - you deserved it (9471)

On 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44993) - you deserved it (6152)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

#21213089
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34636) - you deserved it (2902)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Cura?ao

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63751) - you deserved it (4836)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

#21212849
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41603) - you deserved it (6772)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by familyhatesme - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

#21212155
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46545) - you deserved it (5756)

On 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm - animals - by kittynapper - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too nice. Apparently, me being nice to him makes him feel guilty. FML

#21212029
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41006) - you deserved it (3972)

On 07/17/2014 at 4:48pm - love - by toonice - United States (Oregon)

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

#21211826
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39739) - you deserved it (11694)

On 07/17/2014 at 11:57am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50393) - you deserved it (4185)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, while working as a barista, a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not being ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her, but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed for over an hour. FML

#21211312
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38103) - you deserved it (4481)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

#21210956
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53399) - you deserved it (3817)

On 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by betrayed (man) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: