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CobraLazerFace

Offline (20 hours ago) | Search for a member

CobraLazerFace

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6962
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About CobraLazerFace : Apparently you need 1000 comments to be able to use sarcasm here.

CobraLazerFace's page activity

Visits<b>psychopolarbear</b> - 18 hours ago<b>hailstorm187</b> - 18 hours ago<b>the_fanciest_man</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:12pm<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 4:22am<b>M4nt1d</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:00pm<b>mandymay21</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 7:51am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 8:57pm<b>ShariG2010</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 12:33pm<b>Purrrvana</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:43am<b>FmyL6</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 11:12pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:33pm<b>Icebrisket</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 12:44pm<b>LadyCloud</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 11:00am<b>cute_chick</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:57am<b>Kingofkatz</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 6:51am<b>Moonheartx</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 3:21am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 7:34pm

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100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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CobraLazerFace's favorite FMLs

Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40460) - you deserved it (14871)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

#21240389
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38908) - you deserved it (4188)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:10am - kids - by I hate children - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML

#21239690
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36751) - you deserved it (6260)

On 08/17/2014 at 11:19am - misc - by Etrius (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40924) - you deserved it (13225)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44718) - you deserved it (7369)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML

#21238688
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42765) - you deserved it (2890)

On 08/16/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by bad birthdays - United States (California)

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML

#21238351
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19832) - you deserved it (48234)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46933) - you deserved it (4477)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37467) - you deserved it (3138)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while taking out the trash, I swung the bag back and forth, which caused it to slide across my leg. An opened aluminum can inside the bag ended up slicing through my calf, causing heavy bleeding. Baked beans sent me to the hospital. FML

Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML

#21237592
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14799) - you deserved it (69775)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by oops - United States (California)

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34789) - you deserved it (4970)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37192) - you deserved it (5953)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)



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