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CobraLazerFace

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CobraLazerFace

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5447
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About CobraLazerFace : Looking for lucrative way to acquire street cred.

CobraLazerFace's page activity

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CobraLazerFace's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to get a tooth pulled. They put me on laughing gas, and obviously I couldn't stop laughing. The dentist got so pissed that she gave a painful yank to a tooth on my non-medicated side to make me shut up. FML

#21224697
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14518) - you deserved it (2140)

On 07/30/2014 at 11:27am - health - by giggly - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML

#21224521
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21528) - you deserved it (2102)

On 07/30/2014 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, while out with my boyfriend, I gave a beggar some cash, who then smiled at me and said to my boyfriend, "You have a beautiful little lady, take good care of her." Flattered, I hoped my boyfriend would agree with the compliment. He turned and said, "Hear that? He said you were little." FML

#21224627
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22118) - you deserved it (2138) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/30/2014 at 2:51am - love - by gwengas - France (Bretagne)

Today, the left side of my head has officially declared its independence. Half of my hair is now curly, the rest is totally flat. FML

#21224614
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21604) - you deserved it (2116) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/30/2014 at 2:51am - misc - by anonyme - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

#21224311
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20838) - you deserved it (3471)

On 07/29/2014 at 11:49pm - work - by dealtit - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29203) - you deserved it (9180)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML

#21223478
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31795) - you deserved it (2525)

On 07/29/2014 at 4:27am - misc - by Tiny (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "he died" and walked away. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

#21223464
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15699) - you deserved it (47141)

On 07/29/2014 at 3:58am - misc - by jayswizzle89 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

Today, I almost passed out choking in front of my friends, because I was laughing too hard at my own pathetic joke while eating. FML

Today, I met someone who works in radio advertising. Making conversation, I described an ad that I can't stand. He wrote it. FML

#21222884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30633) - you deserved it (7189)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:16am - work - by Scotty (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

#21222673
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30880) - you deserved it (3122)

On 07/28/2014 at 12:36am - misc - by blow away - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

#21222536
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32808) - you deserved it (3510)

On 07/27/2014 at 10:54pm - misc - by tlm84 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

#21222459
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35330) - you deserved it (3059)

On 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by why - United States

Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML

#21222137
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37347) - you deserved it (3714)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by Yeppets (woman) - United States



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