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CobraLazerFace

Offline (23 hours ago) | Search for a member

CobraLazerFace

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7445
  • Number of comments : 144
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About CobraLazerFace : Apparently you need 1000 comments to be able to use sarcasm here.

CobraLazerFace's page activity

Visits<b>Cheezits4dayz</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:02pm<b>dnabdnekdjchs</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:54am<b>max2732</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:04am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:41am<b>the_fanciest_man</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:13am<b>allred1997</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 12:41am<b>JesterMester</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:21pm<b>gshocker20</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 9:33pm<b>SweetasCandy0609</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:51pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:33pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:15pm<b>afrahmohasin</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:43pm<b>psychopolarbear</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:22pm<b>hailstorm187</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:05pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:12pm<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 4:22am<b>M4nt1d</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:00pm<b>mandymay21</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 7:51am

Liked!<b>dylanger16</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 1:41pm

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CobraLazerFace's favorite FMLs

Today, I felt so overwhelmed by all the kids in my house that I sat in the bathroom alone for a while to get some peace. I sat on the toilet for so long that I started to pee, realizing too late that the seat was down, and that I was also quite overdressed for the occasion. FML

#21249067
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24344) - you deserved it (7510)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:01pm - kids - by SunshineSquared (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

#21247834
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31480) - you deserved it (2865)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my manager made everyone put up Christmas decorations around the store. As well as this, we're going to have Christmas music playing on repeat all the way through to January. It's not even September yet. FML

#21247337
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35378) - you deserved it (2347)

On 08/28/2014 at 6:39pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33905) - you deserved it (2583)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

#21246884
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38886) - you deserved it (4638)

On 08/28/2014 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

#21246787
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34068) - you deserved it (2872)

On 08/27/2014 at 10:33pm - kids - by That idiot - United States (Nevada)

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

#21246620
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33307) - you deserved it (2686)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by dr.mantistobagon (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML

#21246563
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34236) - you deserved it (2567)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by leem (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18805) - you deserved it (39585)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, I wore a sexy nurse's outfit for a little roleplay with my boyfriend. After the main event, he said the sex was actually pretty bad and that he should file a medical malpractice lawsuit. Then he laughed at his own joke, got dressed, and went out for drinks. FML

#21245913
79 comments

Today, my boss asked me if I could work this weekend, doing the work of 2 people, for almost no extra pay. I had a weekend out with my kids planned, so I said I couldn't. My boss called it a shitty excuse, yet gave a free pass to a guy who claimed he had a "phobia of working on weekends". FML

#21245803
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34529) - you deserved it (2175)

On 08/26/2014 at 2:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, it's my fourth day of my trip to the USA. I've actually started keeping count of the number of times people get confused because I was born in South Africa and yet am not black. Current count: 9. FML

#21245756
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39086) - you deserved it (3461)

On 08/26/2014 at 12:22pm - misc - by WTF, guys? - United States (California)

Today, I was fixing the plumbing at my father-in-law's house. I told him to shut off the water and yell to me when he did. A few minutes later, I heard a yell and removed the pipe. I was met with a face full of water. Turns out he was just very excited when the Rangers beat the Mariners. FML

#21245661
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33870) - you deserved it (3218)

On 08/26/2014 at 7:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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