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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 June 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3283
  • Number of comments : 177
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cmdr_Shepard : Hey guys, I'm a 22-year-old man living in rural Georgia. I'm a junior in college pursuing a psychology degree. My goal is to attend grad school and get a ph.D in Clinical Psychology.

I love reading FML entries, though sometimes they seem so outlandish that I'm being trolled. It also makes me sad reading about girls with douchebag BF's when I'm forever alone. :(

After a while, I noticed that many of my comments are at least a couple of paragraphs long. I'm not intentionally writing that long of a comment, but rather I usually have a lot to say and it can't be summarized in one sentence. If you're the kind of person that's all "OMG TL;DR" then I guess you'll just have to DEAL WITH IT.

Finally, I wish we could post pictures. My picture can be used for half the FMLs posted.

Cmdr_Shepard's page activity

Visits<b>TexasGirl24</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 5:36pm<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 2:04pm<b>hasaben</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 3:33am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 12:29am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 3:03am<b>TheAtomicBomb</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 6:27pm<b>Astavo</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 8:57pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 9:54pm<b>punmessiah</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 6:22pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 9:15pm<b>SlimDanny</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:24pm<b>Kiernan151</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:06am<b>immaloser95</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 5:34pm<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 8:27am<b>bopersonn</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 11:49pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:01am<b>BedabinBill</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:55pm<b>omgpp</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:04am

Cmdr_Shepard's FML badges

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Cmdr_Shepard's favorite FMLs

Today, it was wacky tacky day at my school. I did not participate, however, I did get voted the tackiest outfit in my school. FML

by obsceene / 10/18/2010 at 6:49am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

by liu_kang / 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm / United States / Health

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2009 at 3:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML

by dudezilla / 10/13/2009 at 11:52am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML

by NotAParabola / 10/07/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect. The CD kept skipping, the rose petals had ants all over them, and he couldn't get it up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2009 at 11:21pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had to buy another pair of 'fat jeans', because my old 'fat jeans' became my new 'skinny jeans'. FML

by FML / 08/30/2009 at 10:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made an appointment with a therapist because lately I've been feeling alone and like no one cares about me. I waited at her office for about forty minutes before the receptionist informed me that she must have forgotten about the appointment. I was stood up by even my therapist. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2009 at 2:41pm / United States / Health

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

by aviators / 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

by 00Evan / 04/05/2009 at 9:48am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was denied acceptance to The University of Georgia. I was down all day so I decided to go to a party my friend was throwing. Thinking it would cheer me up, as soon as I arrive all I see is colleges on shirts, hats, and sweatshirts, most being UGA. It was a college acceptance party. FML

by oldskoolgrl / 03/29/2009 at 12:37am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

by Zoe123 / 03/19/2009 at 2:05am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy