Cmdr_Shepard

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Cmdr_Shepard

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 June 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3371
  • Number of comments : 177
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cmdr_Shepard : Hey guys, I'm a 22-year-old man living in rural Georgia. I'm a junior in college pursuing a psychology degree. My goal is to attend grad school and get a ph.D in Clinical Psychology.

I love reading FML entries, though sometimes they seem so outlandish that I'm being trolled. It also makes me sad reading about girls with douchebag BF's when I'm forever alone. :(

After a while, I noticed that many of my comments are at least a couple of paragraphs long. I'm not intentionally writing that long of a comment, but rather I usually have a lot to say and it can't be summarized in one sentence. If you're the kind of person that's all "OMG TL;DR" then I guess you'll just have to DEAL WITH IT.

Finally, I wish we could post pictures. My picture can be used for half the FMLs posted.

Cmdr_Shepard's page activity

Visits<b>TexasGirl24</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 5:36pm<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 2:04pm<b>hasaben</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 3:33am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 12:29am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 3:03am<b>TheAtomicBomb</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 6:27pm<b>Astavo</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 8:57pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 9:54pm<b>punmessiah</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 6:22pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 9:15pm<b>SlimDanny</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:24pm<b>Kiernan151</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:06am<b>immaloser95</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 5:34pm<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 8:27am<b>bopersonn</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 11:49pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:01am<b>BedabinBill</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:55pm<b>omgpp</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:04am

Cmdr_Shepard's FML badges

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50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

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Cmdr_Shepard's favorite FMLs

Today, during my first date with a girl I've liked for awhile, she tells me about some minor disabilities she was born with. Wanting to be honest with her too, I tell her I'm slightly autistic. Her response was, "I'm sorry this isn't going to work. I can't date a retard." I had to eat alone after that. FML

by DyingPlants / 10/09/2011 at 11:27pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I got a text from someone I've been avoiding saying, "Can I come visit you today?" I replied, "No, sorry, I'm not home." They then replied "Then who is that in your living room?" FML

by Pookaa / 10/05/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm / United States / Work

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling unusually self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on makeup for the day. On my way to class, I passed some guys selling towels. One of them jeered, "Wanna be prettier? Buy a towel, and throw it over your face!" There goes my self-confidence. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2011 at 11:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML

by Academia / 08/18/2011 at 4:45am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Work

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 / 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML

by 6u174r_d00d / 08/10/2011 at 5:10pm / United States / Love

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

by jgdgjyfg / 07/25/2011 at 3:21am / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Health

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I had only been dating him for about a month. Thinking he wouldn't take it very hard, I invited him over so I could tell him in person. Little did I know he was going to start crying on my couch and not leave for 5 hours. FML

by me / 07/12/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

by notinthebutt / 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

by ravenskater / 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm / Kids

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Intimacy

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

by person / 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm / Jordan (Amman Governorate) / Health

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

by person / 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm / Jordan (Amman Governorate) / Health