About Cmdr_Shepard : Hey guys, I'm a 22-year-old man living in rural Georgia. I'm a junior in college pursuing a psychology degree. My goal is to attend grad school and get a ph.D in Clinical Psychology.
I love reading FML entries, though sometimes they seem so outlandish that I'm being trolled. It also makes me sad reading about girls with douchebag BF's when I'm forever alone. :(
After a while, I noticed that many of my comments are at least a couple of paragraphs long. I'm not intentionally writing that long of a comment, but rather I usually have a lot to say and it can't be summarized in one sentence. If you're the kind of person that's all "OMG TL;DR" then I guess you'll just have to DEAL WITH IT.
Finally, I wish we could post pictures. My picture can be used for half the FMLs posted.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Today, during my first date with a girl I've liked for awhile, she tells me about some minor disabilities she was born with. Wanting to be honest with her too, I tell her I'm slightly autistic. Her response was, "I'm sorry this isn't going to work. I can't date a retard." I had to eat alone after that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39311) - you deserved it (2511)
On 10/09/2011 at 11:27pm - love - by DyingPlants (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I got a text from someone I've been avoiding saying, "Can I come visit you today?" I replied, "No, sorry, I'm not home." They then replied "Then who is that in your living room?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26607) - you deserved it (5332)
On 10/05/2011 at 7:48pm - misc - by Pookaa (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32573) - you deserved it (2308)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16160) - you deserved it (32434)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, I was feeling unusually self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on makeup for the day. On my way to class, I passed some guys selling towels. One of them jeered, "Wanna be prettier? Buy a towel, and throw it over your face!" There goes my self-confidence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25806) - you deserved it (3569)
On 09/21/2011 at 11:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24890) - you deserved it (2154)
On 08/18/2011 at 4:45am - work - by Academia (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28385) - you deserved it (5114)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States
Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28909) - you deserved it (4003)
On 08/10/2011 at 5:10pm - love - by 6u174r_d00d - United States
Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27300) - you deserved it (6350)
On 07/25/2011 at 3:21am - health - by jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom (Rotherham)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I had only been dating him for about a month. Thinking he wouldn't take it very hard, I invited him over so I could tell him in person. Little did I know he was going to start crying on my couch and not leave for 5 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25420) - you deserved it (7749)
On 07/12/2011 at 12:20am - love - by me - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10318) - you deserved it (52643)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52747) - you deserved it (5341)
On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24815) - you deserved it (15708) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8558) - you deserved it (17640)
On 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm - health - by person - Jordan (Amman Governorate)
Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8558) - you deserved it (17640)
On 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm - health - by person - Jordan (Amman Governorate)
Monday 17 June 2013
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