Cmdr_Shepard

Search for a member

Cmdr_Shepard

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 June 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3379
  • Number of comments : 177
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cmdr_Shepard : Hey guys, I'm a 22-year-old man living in rural Georgia. I'm a junior in college pursuing a psychology degree. My goal is to attend grad school and get a ph.D in Clinical Psychology.

I love reading FML entries, though sometimes they seem so outlandish that I'm being trolled. It also makes me sad reading about girls with douchebag BF's when I'm forever alone. :(

After a while, I noticed that many of my comments are at least a couple of paragraphs long. I'm not intentionally writing that long of a comment, but rather I usually have a lot to say and it can't be summarized in one sentence. If you're the kind of person that's all "OMG TL;DR" then I guess you'll just have to DEAL WITH IT.

Finally, I wish we could post pictures. My picture can be used for half the FMLs posted.

Cmdr_Shepard's page activity

Visits<b>TexasGirl24</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 5:36pm<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 2:04pm<b>hasaben</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 3:33am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 12:29am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 3:03am<b>TheAtomicBomb</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 6:27pm<b>Astavo</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 8:57pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 9:54pm<b>punmessiah</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 6:22pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 9:15pm<b>SlimDanny</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:24pm<b>Kiernan151</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:06am<b>immaloser95</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 5:34pm<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 8:27am<b>bopersonn</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 11:49pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:01am<b>BedabinBill</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:55pm<b>omgpp</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:04am

Cmdr_Shepard's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Cmdr_Shepard's badges

Cmdr_Shepard's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé decided he wants to buy an engagement ring for his mother, so that she doesn't feel left out. FML

by heatherjo / 11/02/2011 at 12:49am / United States / Love

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

by bakedplum / 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML

by VladyBoi / 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

by ohdear / 10/31/2011 at 11:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, during my fourth solo day working as a meter-maid, I had a vehicle towed for being parked in front of a fire hydrant. The vehicle belonged to the governor. I'm scared to even show my face at work next week. FML

by NoMoreMeters / 10/28/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she bought the same perfume that my boyfriend got me for Christmas last year. He loves that perfume. Now, whenever he smells me, he's going to think of his mom. FML

by Annoyed / 10/28/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

by ifeeldirty / 10/27/2011 at 8:22am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML

by Me / 10/27/2011 at 2:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to be a generous guy and slip a dollar from my pocket to a beggar. Turns out I'd slipped my hard-earned $100 bill instead. FML

by Pimaan / 10/26/2011 at 12:14pm / United States / Money

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

by sad / 10/25/2011 at 6:15am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2011 at 1:58am / United States / Transportation

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous