![[fr]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
About Cmdr_Shepard : Hey guys, I'm a 22-year-old man living in rural Georgia. I'm a junior in college pursuing a psychology degree. My goal is to attend grad school and get a ph.D in Clinical Psychology.
I love reading FML entries, though sometimes they seem so outlandish that I'm being trolled. It also makes me sad reading about girls with douchebag BF's when I'm forever alone. :(
After a while, I noticed that many of my comments are at least a couple of paragraphs long. I'm not intentionally writing that long of a comment, but rather I usually have a lot to say and it can't be summarized in one sentence. If you're the kind of person that's all "OMG TL;DR" then I guess you'll just have to DEAL WITH IT.
Finally, I wish we could post pictures. My picture can be used for half the FMLs posted.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8642) - you deserved it (29526)
On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25691) - you deserved it (4617)
On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my fiancé decided he wants to buy an engagement ring for his mother, so that she doesn't feel left out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28100) - you deserved it (2198)
On 11/02/2011 at 12:49am - love - by heatherjo - United States
Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16676) - you deserved it (14434)
On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38277) - you deserved it (3835)
On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)
Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (3540)
On 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm - kids - by VladyBoi (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad in her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19069) - you deserved it (1479)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, during my fourth solo day working as a meter-maid, I had a vehicle towed for being parked in front of a fire hydrant. The vehicle belonged to the governor. I'm scared to even show my face at work next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9345) - you deserved it (1288)
On 10/28/2011 at 8:19pm - work - by NoMoreMeters - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she bought the same perfume that my boyfriend got me for Christmas last year. He loves that perfume. Now, whenever he smells me, he's going to think of his mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17142) - you deserved it (1596)
On 10/28/2011 at 4:25pm - love - by Annoyed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10033) - you deserved it (2349)
On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23323) - you deserved it (5273)
On 10/27/2011 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Me - United States
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31648) - you deserved it (3731)
On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I decided to be a generous guy and slip a dollar from my pocket to a beggar. Turns out I'd slipped my hard-earned $100 bill instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6248) - you deserved it (8750)
On 10/26/2011 at 12:14pm - money - by Pimaan - United States
Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19804) - you deserved it (21289)
Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20725) - you deserved it (2041)
On 10/25/2011 at 1:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
