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Cmdr_Shepard

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Cmdr_Shepard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1847
  • Number of comments : 177
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cmdr_Shepard : Hey guys, I'm a 22-year-old man living in rural Georgia. I'm a junior in college pursuing a psychology degree. My goal is to attend grad school and get a ph.D in Clinical Psychology.

I love reading FML entries, though sometimes they seem so outlandish that I'm being trolled. It also makes me sad reading about girls with douchebag BF's when I'm forever alone. :(

After a while, I noticed that many of my comments are at least a couple of paragraphs long. I'm not intentionally writing that long of a comment, but rather I usually have a lot to say and it can't be summarized in one sentence. If you're the kind of person that's all "OMG TL;DR" then I guess you'll just have to DEAL WITH IT.

Finally, I wish we could post pictures. My picture can be used for half the FMLs posted.

Cmdr_Shepard's page activity

Visits<b>bopersonn</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 11:49pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:01am<b>BedabinBill</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:55pm<b>omgpp</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:04am<b>CurvyisCool</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:29pm<b>OSHH2000</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 10:57am<b>piggybits</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 10:31am<b>babyladuke</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 2:21am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 8:17am<b>grogers311</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 9:36am<b>finallyausername</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 2:56am<b>sezual</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 9:17am<b>Amanyyyyyy</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 10:13pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 8:50pm<b>Trently</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 10:41pm<b>Bostern</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 5:30am<b>bayleebug316</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 11:17am<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 11:22am

Cmdr_Shepard's FML badges

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Cmdr_Shepard's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML

#20647074
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58885) - you deserved it (4598)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by the girl next door (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32745) - you deserved it (112111)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

#20427124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38687) - you deserved it (7964)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States

Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML

#20425068
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18951) - you deserved it (24855)

On 12/27/2012 at 1:46am - health - by pipefitter28 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45786) - you deserved it (25183)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML

#20144136
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6434) - you deserved it (24228)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:35am - work - by Hornymuch (woman) - Germany

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31870) - you deserved it (18442)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22393) - you deserved it (3987)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, the girl I'm dating mentioned that she'd had her healthy wisdom teeth removed to prevent her future children from having wisdom teeth. I laughed. She wasn't joking. FML

Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML

#20098929
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30751) - you deserved it (2510)

On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33201) - you deserved it (2543)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32640) - you deserved it (6567)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

#19249177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22280) - you deserved it (4289)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:04am - love - by atsukobo - United States

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11676) - you deserved it (44295)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

#18260975
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36392) - you deserved it (6895)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)



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