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Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10287) - you deserved it (39347)
On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38308) - you deserved it (1624)
On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa
Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27877) - you deserved it (1944)
On 10/19/2010 at 11:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26312) - you deserved it (1895)
On 11/30/2009 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Janer88 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my husband left his cell phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being a very curious person, I decided to call "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28628) - you deserved it (10591)
Today, my boyfriend of a month had to leave early. I asked him why and he replied that his brother was getting off the bus and he needed to feed him. I had never met his brother, and I said "He can't feed himself? What is he, retarded?" He is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6394) - you deserved it (59264)
On 07/09/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37630) - you deserved it (430958)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (377407) - you deserved it (54139)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44491) - you deserved it (517544)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (753515) - you deserved it (63696)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (569053) - you deserved it (51252)
On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (147866) - you deserved it (55386)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (381159) - you deserved it (34518)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
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