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Cloudberry's favorite FMLs
Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML
by billiams15 / 05/06/2012 at 5:57pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by catherineratley / 05/06/2012 at 12:09am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by mhm / 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by Nice / 05/01/2012 at 9:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Steve / 04/28/2012 at 9:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML
by Diffy / 04/26/2012 at 7:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
by A Henderson / 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm / United States / Work
Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML
by kingpig / 02/02/2012 at 1:00pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm / United States / Intimacy
by YOURMOM / 12/31/2011 at 2:24am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML
by unwanted / 12/23/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by lalala / 12/22/2011 at 12:26pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Intimacy
by emmmbo / 12/19/2011 at 10:40am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
- Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey,… Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he… Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart.…