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  • Number of visits : 3054
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 12 posted

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Cloudberry's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46476) - you deserved it (2725)

On 06/29/2012 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I shaved my legs. I received endless compliments about how great they looked, and how jealous all the girls were. I'm a guy who shaved them for a themed party, for which I dressed up as a girl. FML

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML


I agree, your life sucks (29694) - you deserved it (16957)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, at a party, I told a joke to my crush. He didn't even smile. An hour later, I heard my model friend tell the exact same joke to him. He said it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. FML

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41635) - you deserved it (4420)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36909) - you deserved it (4423)

On 06/14/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by anonymous - China (Jiangsu)

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9796) - you deserved it (114087)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)

Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12618) - you deserved it (28984)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by idontgetit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML


I agree, your life sucks (22566) - you deserved it (3239)

On 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm - work - by bronieswillrule5eva (man) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34556) - you deserved it (5248)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:13am - intimacy - by rachiej8 - United States (Vermont)

Today, is the third day since I opened my small coffee shop. My parents had given me a nice frame to put my first dollar from working in. I had to sneak in a dollar from my own wallet so they wouldn't know how bad business was when they came to visit. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26980) - you deserved it (2592)

On 06/09/2012 at 8:24pm - work - by jeremyj (man) - United States

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39653) - you deserved it (6257)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -

Today, I saw a text message on my husband's phone from a "Candice", asking him if he and his wife are still separated, followed by an invitation to spend the night. I never knew we were separated in the first place. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40806) - you deserved it (2420)

On 06/04/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16807) - you deserved it (30807)

On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

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