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Claytonioo

Offline (the 09/10/2014 at 11:33pm) | Search for a member

Claytonioo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2282
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Claytonioo's page activity

Visits<b>Callilah</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 8:54am<b>Googolman</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 6:28pm<b>Annabomb</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 6:12pm<b>Misshhh</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 4:55am<b>cutycat136</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 6:25pm<b>stronghand0331</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 11:09am<b>LizetteBerenice</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:00am<b>nyancait</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 10:49am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:53pm<b>KodiG</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 3:57am<b>vividpictures</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:32pm<b>AwkwardShoe</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 5:02am<b>ThatsStoryOfLife</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:58am<b>ninany63</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 12:12am<b>L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:56pm<b>CurlyQute</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:20pm<b>lilypearl</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:52am<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 5:23am

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Claytonioo's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend found on Tinder the profile of a guy I've been dating and getting quite serious with. I was surprised, not only because he'd told me he didn't do "stuff" like Facebook or Tinder, but because he lied about his job and his surname. Oh, and the fact that he got married in March. FML

#21202569
177 comments

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41506) - you deserved it (2998)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#21182128
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50463) - you deserved it (8707)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, after having asked me out on Monday, the guy I like angrily cancelled our date because I "hadn't bothered" even talking to him for "several days". One day. You didn't hear from me on Monday. It's now Tuesday. That's one day, dick. FML

#21169704
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47218) - you deserved it (6321)

On 06/10/2014 at 2:29pm - love - by fartbucket51995129565 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60141) - you deserved it (8485)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59141) - you deserved it (4566)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. We're very close, and I called my boyfriend, really needing some support. I'd barely told him what had happened, when he replied, "Babe, I'm in the middle of a game here. Call me later." FML

#21150333
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48862) - you deserved it (6159)

On 05/24/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, not even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML

#21143801
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49746) - you deserved it (3889)

On 05/18/2014 at 10:14am - misc - by lemongrab (woman) - Canada

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

#21143534
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56212) - you deserved it (5639)

On 05/18/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML

#21143037
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47234) - you deserved it (5246)

On 05/17/2014 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4am. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML

#21142655
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43646) - you deserved it (4372)

On 05/17/2014 at 6:11am - misc - by frustrated - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

#21142253
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39940) - you deserved it (13689)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML

#21142181
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35856) - you deserved it (15322)

On 05/16/2014 at 7:20pm - misc - by Female Struggles (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML

#21142112
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47830) - you deserved it (13580)

On 05/16/2014 at 6:25pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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