About Claymason : Schadenfreude. XD
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44600) - you deserved it (5739)
On 06/05/2011 at 8:23am - love - by Loveless - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded with, "That's nice. You know what I love? Chicken wings. Let's go get some." Apparently, he doesn't remember I'm a vegetarian either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35092) - you deserved it (7388)
On 05/31/2011 at 8:02am - love - by veggiepower11028 -
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40476) - you deserved it (10806)
On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27394) - you deserved it (7594)
On 03/18/2011 at 7:28am - misc - by karmavictim -
Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7729) - you deserved it (49245)
On 10/25/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by leve80paladin (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10142) - you deserved it (26884)
On 10/25/2010 at 8:32am - misc - by tanya - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33773) - you deserved it (7427)
On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)
Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30232) - you deserved it (2026)
On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66774) - you deserved it (4659)
On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I found the source of the bad smell that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks in my apartment. The police knocked on my door asking if I've seen my neighbor recently. I haven't. The smell has been that of a dead person. It's a smell that even Febreze can't remove. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67478) - you deserved it (3427)
On 06/05/2009 at 5:42pm - health - by Michael (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65889) - you deserved it (162994)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46770) - you deserved it (127840)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Monday 20 May 2013
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