Claymason

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Claymason

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 December 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1903
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Claymason : Schadenfreude. XD

Claymason's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 5:45pm<b>glushkaguy13</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 1:45am<b>Lolr4dogz</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 2:40pm

Claymason's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Claymason's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML

by Loveless / 06/05/2011 at 8:23am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded with, "That's nice. You know what I love? Chicken wings. Let's go get some." Apparently, he doesn't remember I'm a vegetarian either. FML

by veggiepower11028 / 05/31/2011 at 8:02am / Love

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

by karmavictim / 03/18/2011 at 7:28am / Animals

Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML

by leve80paladin / 10/25/2010 at 11:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

by tanya / 10/25/2010 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

by blah blah daddy / 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

by Soresack / 01/04/2010 at 8:34am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

by Gordon / 07/22/2009 at 10:12am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I found the source of the bad smell that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks in my apartment. The police knocked on my door asking if I've seen my neighbor recently. I haven't. The smell has been that of a dead person. It's a smell that even Febreze can't remove. FML

by Michael / 06/05/2009 at 5:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy