Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Claymason

Search for a member

Claymason

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 December 1987 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1629
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Claymason : Schadenfreude. XD

Claymason's page activity

Visits<b>glushkaguy13</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 1:45am<b>Lolr4dogz</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 2:40pm

Claymason's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Claymason's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML

#16512093
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51364) - you deserved it (7450)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:23am - love - by Loveless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded with, "That's nice. You know what I love? Chicken wings. Let's go get some." Apparently, he doesn't remember I'm a vegetarian either. FML

#16432419
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39970) - you deserved it (8052)

On 05/31/2011 at 8:02am - love - by veggiepower11028 -

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46692) - you deserved it (13854)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

#15364776
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32781) - you deserved it (9703)

On 03/18/2011 at 7:28am - misc - by karmavictim -

Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML

#13588897
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9950) - you deserved it (61757)

On 10/25/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by leve80paladin (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

#13588009
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12921) - you deserved it (35618)

On 10/25/2010 at 8:32am - misc - by tanya - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40124) - you deserved it (9441)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

#7143279
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36417) - you deserved it (2713)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

#3950301
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75055) - you deserved it (6070)

On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found the source of the bad smell that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks in my apartment. The police knocked on my door asking if I've seen my neighbor recently. I haven't. The smell has been that of a dead person. It's a smell that even Febreze can't remove. FML

#2637433
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77344) - you deserved it (4622)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:42pm - health - by Michael (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82058) - you deserved it (217630)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: