Classic_PWN

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Classic_PWN

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 May 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3564
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Classic_PWN : Just a small town girl living in a lonely world taking a midnight train to anywhere.I also like cheap perfume.

Classic_PWN's page activity

Visits<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:06pm<b>infinity2</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 4:56pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 3:21pm<b>abattior</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 11:47pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 8:55pm<b>OneDayDown</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:48pm<b>laneyk07</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:42am<b>ileenefudge</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 8:15pm<b>Awesome58422599</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 1:31am<b>GLaDOS8899</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 4:59pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 5:07pm<b>mrfuzzywiggles</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 10:31pm<b>AquanTheDragon</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 11:47pm<b>michel242o</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 3:47am<b>Jace_____Rains</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 12:39am<b>the_fat_rob</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 10:05am<b>Enzi</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 5:30pm<b>LilyK</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 7:55pm

Classic_PWN's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Classic_PWN's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 11:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 11:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

by Jessica / 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, after leaving a bar I fell asleep on the Q train heading home. I awoke at 5am in Coney Island, end of the line, to a cop poking me with his baton. He gave me a ticket for "Subway Vagrancy" even though I have a job and an apartment. He didn't ticket the homeless man next to me covered in piss. FML

by sleepyt127 / 05/07/2009 at 3:47pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

by Aether / 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

by danggit3290 / 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, is my long-anticipated 21st birthday! Today also happens to be the first day of my period. I've spent the whole morning in the fetal position with agonizing cramps, reduced to tears and whimpering while the painkiller refuses to kick in. Happy birthday! Love, my uterus. FML

by buymeadrank / 04/30/2009 at 11:11am / United States (Idaho) / Health

Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML

by fingerfuckd / 04/29/2009 at 11:47am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

by filipinoclari808 / 04/16/2009 at 2:47am / United States (Hawaii) / Love

Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML

by Lifeguard / 04/04/2009 at 3:03pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he said he needed to be with someone smart so that he could impress his parents. I just got accepted into medical school. When I pointed that out to him, he added that he needed to be with someone attractive. FML

by Lily / 03/22/2009 at 9:10pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

by Noname / 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

by SmoothTalker / 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love