Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Cjw1220

Search for a member

Cjw1220

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 December 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3175
  • Number of comments : 201
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About Cjw1220 : So, I figure since I have nothing interesting to say, I will just end this now. Or maybe now. You might as well stop reading this. This has absolutely no purpose that can be in anyway beneficial to you. Would you care to explain why you are still reading? Okay, since you obviously do not want to stop reading, I will end this now. Good day. I said good day! Dammit. You are the reason that gunpowder was invented. The Chinese had a premonition that it would be needed at some point in the early Twenty-First century. They were right. You know, for you. Because we would have to deal with you... and such. Well, whatevs. Later Gator.

Cjw1220's page activity

Visits<b>wvni</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 3:12pm<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:03pm<b>luminalunii69</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 1:44am<b>groovy579</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 8:51pm<b>guskta</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 7:34pm<b>Gentleman_Snivy</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 4:57pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:16am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:15pm<b>mathen</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 4:02am<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:44pm<b>ken29</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:16pm<b>omgpp</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 11:13pm<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 8:47pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 8:23am<b>Awesome58422599</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:50pm<b>BearTheCrown</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 9:36pm<b>PeterPanties</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:24am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:10am

Cjw1220's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Cjw1220's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML

#14413679
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25474) - you deserved it (5735)

On 12/31/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by edulover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents hassled me for wanting to get my tongue pierced, saying it was filthy, unprofessional, and degrading. About an hour later, my sister let slip that my nipple is pierced. FML

#14086483
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15185) - you deserved it (31811)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was outside eating my lunch when an old man pulled his pants down and took a dump on the sidewalk next to me. FML

#13805619
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28027) - you deserved it (2578)

On 11/11/2010 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to a broken window and 3 guys sitting in my living room watching TV. FML

#13413623
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34278) - you deserved it (2649)

On 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my boyfriend is an active member of the suicide forum. He told me I should make an account too. FML

#13386499
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26299) - you deserved it (2790)

On 10/10/2010 at 12:33am - love - by lightblue - United States (California)

Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML

#13363773
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27399) - you deserved it (6140)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

#12803986
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30949) - you deserved it (6678)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:37am - intimacy - by bkay26 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

#12714961
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29417) - you deserved it (10126)

On 08/24/2010 at 2:17am - intimacy - by chewybarseventy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

#12485840
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29010) - you deserved it (33734)

On 08/12/2010 at 9:01pm - intimacy - by Blueberrypicc (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I thought it would be funny to moon people out of my friend's car window. I rolled down the window and mooned a random couple. You should have seen the looks on their faces when I had to get out of the car and pick up my phone and wallet, which were in my back pocket. FML

#12483686
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4755) - you deserved it (49829)

On 08/12/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by fullmoonfml (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on us while we were playing naked twister. FML

#12476862
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18974) - you deserved it (31222)

On 08/12/2010 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

#12438405
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30460) - you deserved it (8148)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by verno02 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML

#12405087
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39396) - you deserved it (4941)

On 08/09/2010 at 3:07am - intimacy - by hard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

#12301472
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40021) - you deserved it (3398)

On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a red light when the guy next to me gave me that look people give when they want a street race. I won, but I should've seen the word "Sheriff" written on the side of his car. FML

#12247405
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8111) - you deserved it (73909)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:41pm - misc - by Our Talisman - Sent from mobile version



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: