Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Cian_1

Search for a member

Cian_1
  • Town/Country : Scotland
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 July 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1351
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Cian_1 : I love it when on other people's 'bios', they say that they're a Grammar Nazi, but their entire bio is strewn with dreadful grammar and spelling mistakes. I like to spend my spare time either slacklining, (YouTube it; it's bloody awesome), reading, or travelling whenever I have the spare pennies. :)

Cian_1's last visitors

SweetSwedeEndOfSekretsiateapenguinMrDantepiggybitschrisbreastr0krbuckdharmathedevilspawnDeathAngel2624

Cian_1's FML badges

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of Cian_1's badges

Cian_1's favorite FMLs

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53076) - you deserved it (9594)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

#20740333
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72240) - you deserved it (16400)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75770) - you deserved it (23120)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32079) - you deserved it (3318)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

#20165046
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18772) - you deserved it (2533)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6467) - you deserved it (44526)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19496) - you deserved it (4649)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML

#20089382
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7143) - you deserved it (27928)

On 09/26/2012 at 10:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML

#20074336
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15248) - you deserved it (2432)

On 09/16/2012 at 9:46am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21447) - you deserved it (2820)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today, I found myself trying to explain to my puppy why I'm still single. I think I just found out why. FML

#20028660
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17006) - you deserved it (5440)

On 08/18/2012 at 7:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

#20022504
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14746) - you deserved it (31692)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my father tried to secretly follow me all day, because he doesn't believe that I have any "real" errands to run or friends to meet with. He's actually convinced that I'm living some secret double life with another family. FML

#20022416
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17781) - you deserved it (1173)

On 08/15/2012 at 11:15am - misc - by Bree - United States

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26129) - you deserved it (2177)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35071) - you deserved it (3815)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: