Chrisuh

Search for a member

Offline (yesterday at 12:34pm)

Chrisuh

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 March 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11666
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Chrisuh : smile

Chrisuh's page activity

Visits<b>JordanODST</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 12:21pm<b>majoroftheair</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 2:45am<b>thomas5915</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 1:59pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:59pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 4:59pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 9:31am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 4:55am<b>getoffmyscreen</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 11:01am<b>MM100</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 1:26am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 7:21pm<b>ccameron12</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 6:28pm<b>JMCJester69</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 7:42am<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 12:04pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 5:01pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 6:48am<b>broncosfan1996</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 1:24am<b>swarm20</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 1:03am<b>ekimen</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 7:54am

Fucked!<b>JordanODST</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 3:01am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 1:20am

Chrisuh's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Chrisuh's badges

Chrisuh's favorite FMLs

Today, I scored the number of a cute girl. I gave her mine as well, just before leaving the bar. As I waved her goodbye, I attempted to do a cheesy "call me" gesture with my thumb and pinky finger, and winked. For a reason unknown to me, I ended up flipping her off. I still winked though. FML

by killme.jpeg / 04/17/2016 at 9:04pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I staged an intervention for my dad, because his midlife crisis has spun out of control. When I told him he's now basically endangering his own life, he replied "Everyone's gonna die someday. Some sooner than others, eh porky?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2015 at 1:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my dad why the Wi-fi was down. He just replied, "Why? Horno can't get no more porno?" No, "Horno" has an assignment. WTF? FML

by horno / 12/02/2015 at 3:18pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2015 at 10:29am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML

by Traveler / 10/08/2015 at 10:06pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I got in trouble for missing my shift. According to my idiot boss, "Crashes don't just happen." FML

by yeah / 07/17/2015 at 10:59am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally finished downloading a 60GB TV series after two weeks of waiting. Every single "episode" turned out to be Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, on constant repeat. I almost respect the prankster's effort enough to not want to gut him like a fish. Almost. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 8:52pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML

by notacreep / 07/06/2015 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML

by Alex Andreas / 07/01/2015 at 11:10pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

by anonymousyo / 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I learned that, when you ask your girlfriend "Do you think we're having sex too often?" she might interpret it as, "I don't think we should have sex ever again," and entirely stop talking to you. FML

by Sexless from Texas / 04/24/2015 at 7:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy