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Christinesayyys

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Christinesayyys
  • Town/Country : Chicago, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 March 1992 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1521
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Christinesayyys's favorite FMLs

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45699) - you deserved it (16289)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

#20835170
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46592) - you deserved it (3661) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2013 at 4:49am - kids - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received a phone call that started with, "Now stay calm... Your house is on fire." FML

#20834558
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44497) - you deserved it (2350)

On 08/12/2013 at 10:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27108) - you deserved it (37673)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

#20825416
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50555) - you deserved it (6645)

On 08/07/2013 at 11:46am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I realized I'm getting my period pretty soon. How? I started crying and throwing plates because I thought we were out of sweet bread. FML

#20825062
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37684) - you deserved it (14323)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:51am - health - by FuckYouMotherNature - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

#20823279
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41978) - you deserved it (8039)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:19am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up at 6am and went into the kitchen, where I saw a mouse in front of the fridge. Petrified, I stood in the doorway shooing it for a few minutes. My husband then walked into the kitchen, picked up the "mouse", and threw it in the bin. It was a used tea bag. FML

#20823044
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35850) - you deserved it (17295)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:01am - animals - by Tea_baggins (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst into hysterical laughter behind me. FML

#20817313
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47821) - you deserved it (8096)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

#20816798
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47112) - you deserved it (9790)

On 08/02/2013 at 9:58am - misc - by YouSoSmelly (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML

#20811304
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38433) - you deserved it (22434)

On 07/30/2013 at 10:13am - misc - by kayak probs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

#20810724
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53658) - you deserved it (8454)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by JustSomeGuy - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a customer scream at me for ruining their child's birthday party. They had bought a Piñata from me and didn't know they had to fill it themselves. The kids had hit it open and it was empty. FML

#20809207
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46588) - you deserved it (3821)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:30am - work - by Fitz - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing hysterically. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53018) - you deserved it (7002)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

#20807595
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56372) - you deserved it (8107)

On 07/28/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by microlovin (man) - United States (California)



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