Chris455

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Chris455

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 August 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4321
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Chris455 : I'll fill this out later.

Chris455's page activity

Visits<b>Shadowchire</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 7:46am<b>bryanjamieluke</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 3:16pm<b>Chimera0</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 4:49pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 5:49pm<b>olioli</b> - the 03/20/2013 at 7:56am<b>Squirrel1256</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 11:15am<b>MrClean17</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 11:23am<b>OhAidan</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 10:27pm<b>chrissy2</b> - the 11/26/2012 at 10:10pm<b>CrookedCook</b> - the 10/25/2012 at 10:47pm

Chris455's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Socialite

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Chris455's favorite FMLs

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

by whatjusthappened / 12/20/2013 at 3:45am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 11:49am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, I went to dinner with a guy I like and paid the $120 bill. After joking that he was an expensive date, he replied, "I laugh at how you think this is a date." FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 4:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, thanks to Grand Theft Auto, I found myself seriously thinking about holding up an armored bank truck when I saw it in traffic. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 6:52pm / United States / Money

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm / United States (South Dakota) / Health

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing / 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

by ImNotFat / 08/07/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was feeling down because I always think that I'm overweight. My boyfriend tried to prove me wrong by lifting me up. I threw his back out. FML

by GirlfriendsAreBadForYourBack / 08/06/2013 at 12:01pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML

by fuck family / 07/17/2013 at 4:13pm / Poland (Dolnoslaskie) / Love

Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML

by TNDriver / 07/16/2013 at 9:12am / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

by So little trust. / 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

by hamburger / 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

by the_lonely_life / 06/26/2013 at 9:02pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I tried explaining to my mom how liking her own posts on Facebook wasn't very cool. I later logged in to see she'd added all my friends and posted naked baby pictures of me, captioning them, "Now I don't have to like my own posts." FML