I come around every day or so, I laugh rarely, smile sometimes, and burst out laughing on the inside daily.
Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9440) - you totally deserved it (30235)
On 06/14/2009 at 11:37pm - misc - by thelarkscaw (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to take off her bra, and when I finally unhooked it from behind her, it snapped back and hit me in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you totally deserved it (16445)
On 06/14/2009 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by HatedbyBras (man) - Netherlands
Today, I had to water my entire garden. After an exhausting hour of watering hundreds of plants, I turned off the hose and started to feel good about the grueling job. That is, until it started pouring rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31205) - you totally deserved it (8128)
On 06/14/2009 at 4:39pm - misc - by Rainman (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46158) - you totally deserved it (8229)
On 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by FMLFMLFMLFML (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45190) - you totally deserved it (2727)
On 05/28/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by Jeanine (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13742) - you totally deserved it (27134)
On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by wordmalfunction (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7598) - you totally deserved it (36499)
On 05/24/2009 at 1:01am - misc - by Clueless (woman) - United States
Today, my dad got really drunk. When I was about to go to bed, he was just coming out of the bathroom, he was fully naked, I immediately turned away and said "Okay Dad, time for bed". Thinking that I was my mum, he replied with "That's right bitch, I'm your daddy, I'll show you in bed". FML
I agree, your life sucks (82785) - you totally deserved it (2965)
On 05/17/2009 at 10:22am - misc - by mynickhuh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88733) - you totally deserved it (19196)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51757) - you totally deserved it (3354)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42139) - you totally deserved it (17961)
On 05/11/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Wormy - United States (Ohio)
Today, I texted everyone in my phone to remind them mother's day is tomorrow. Everyone including the boy whose mom died last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10443) - you totally deserved it (51846)
On 05/09/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I got a new comfy duvet and pillow and was looking forward to a good night's sleep. I got into bed and was followed by my dog, who then threw up the tub of butter he had just stolen from the kitchen onto my brand new bed spread. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32544) - you totally deserved it (2786)
On 05/09/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by jonboy (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I had a massive argument with my boyfriend in which he called me stupid repeatedly. I stomped out of his house and sent a very angry text to my best friend about him. She didn't text back. Then my boyfriend texted. 'My girlfriend is so stupid she can't even text the right number.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (10771) - you totally deserved it (47246)
On 05/09/2009 at 11:48am - love - by rawkdinosawr (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34068) - you totally deserved it (11183)
On 05/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by ydahs (woman) - United States (California)
