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Chloe_xoxo

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Chloe_xoxo
  • Town/Country : Cape Town, South Africa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 December 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 488
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Chloe_xoxo : Im really chilled, mellow vibez :)

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Chloe_xoxo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

#18208389
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13719) - you deserved it (29661)

On 11/10/2011 at 6:40am - work - by copshop - United States (California)

Today, in a large church youth group, we were told to write our current biggest trial on a piece of paper, crumple it up, and throw it in pile. I wrote "My mother's death and having to leave my friends and family." The one I picked up just said "math." FML

#18206362
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27054) - you deserved it (3347)

On 11/09/2011 at 10:52pm - misc - by Noslo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

#18205995
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21015) - you deserved it (7583)

On 11/09/2011 at 10:15pm - health - by stinkypants - India

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39008) - you deserved it (4722)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my dad was putting seasoning salt into his mashed potatoes, when the lid came off and poured a ton of salt into the pot. My parents hate wasting food, so we still had to eat it. I think my taste buds are broken. FML

Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML

#18200720
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23693) - you deserved it (3424)

On 11/09/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by blacktyaffair - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

#18183017
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13607) - you deserved it (27867)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Luke - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was over at a friend's house for a party. I was trying to strike up a conversation with one of my cute guy friends, so I showed him this funny picture of me that my friend took. His reply was "Hahahaa those Fatbooth pictures are hilarious!" It wasn't a Fatbooth picture. FML

#18162827
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27259) - you deserved it (957)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by sophhiee - United States (Maryland)

Today, during my friend's group's science project presentation, the teacher yelled at me, "Stop making stupid faces at the presenters!" I was smiling. FML

#18162768
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22729) - you deserved it (3142)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by mcadabax (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my mom learned how to use the text messaging on her smartphone. I've received 37 already, and she calls after every single one to make sure I understood her. FML

#18137674
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32772) - you deserved it (2691)

On 11/02/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I overheard my dad telling his work buddy that he's disappointed in his kid. I assumed he meant my brother, for flunking out of school. He meant me, for quitting sports to focus on my studies. FML

#18137522
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30312) - you deserved it (2704)

On 11/02/2011 at 10:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

#18134142
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27049) - you deserved it (13334)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my license to carry a gun expired because my manager forgot to renew it. As I'm an armored car guard, this is a problem. In order to keep getting hours, my company transferred me to the coin vault. I just finished moving 15000 lbs of boxed coins. By hand. I'm stuck doing this for a month. FML

Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML

#18129545
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13617) - you deserved it (32336)

On 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm - animals - by benji - United States (Michigan)

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

#18127858
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10040) - you deserved it (50636)

On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)



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